Repression
by aminerklarinen
Summary: Picks up where Treachery left off: the mystery behind Hidan's strange behaviour. The truth is simple, but for it to come would be a risk, especially with Itachi around all the time...
1. Chapter 1

THEY all knew it had been Itachi who had basically reduced Sasori to nothing but a pile of ashes, but they didn't say anything. No one did. A dead Akatsuki member meant little or nothing in terms of emotions and friendship.

To the most of Akatsuki, that is.

Hidan was still slightly unnerved by the experience. He had no idea that Sasori _had _done something to Deidara during Itachi's absence, to be frank. Now he was kind of curious of what extent Sasori had gone to to deserve instant death as his reprimand.

Not that it was much of a reprimand. It had no warning, and it wasn't a warning itself.

And thus, Hidan's depressed state continued on. And by now, it had caught the attention of not one—Kakuzu—but all of the Akatsuki.

Deidara was the most curious. He had, after all, shared a kiss with the Jashinist. It had been one that he didn't want, but it was still a kiss. It had also been the gentlest one that Deidara had ever received, and he doubted that there was going to be one that could surpass it. It was just that gentle.

"Hey, Hidan," Kisame barked at dinner. "Say something or we're all going to explode out of aggravation at you _not _saying anything,"

"Don't _encourage _him…," Deidara muttered under his breath. Itachi glanced at the blonde. After Sasori's untimely but well deserved meeting with death, Deidara seemed more.., well, _sunny_. Because of this, all of Itachi's previous guilt had ebbed away. Not that he had felt much.

Hidan lifted his head from the table at Deidara's voice.

"Fine," he growled after a while. "Fuck you all,"

He put his head back down on the table and groaned into the wood.

Kisame shrugged. "Hey, I'm satisfied,"

Kakuzu just nodded.

***

"He only kissed me—once,"

Deidara scraped the remnants of Kisame's dinner into the bin with a fork. Kisame, like Hidan, ate voraciously. Tonight had been no exception. There were more than twenty peeled prawn skins on the plate, four crab pincers sucked dry and numerous other bits and pieces that had been through Kisame's mouth. Deidara flinched a bit when he accidentally touched a chicken bone that was sliding off the china. It was childish, he knew, but he couldn't help it.

"And that was it?" Itachi asked, watching Deidara's face for a possible guarded expression. "That's all he did? This is Hidan, you know,"

"That's honestly all he did," Deidara stacked Kisame's now empty plate onto the sink. "Surprising, no?"

Itachi nodded. "Yes in terms of Hidan being Hidan. But no in regards to how he's been acting lately,"

"What _is _he going through, anyway? Does anybody know?"

Itachi shrugged and turned on the tap and waited until the water was hot. He plugged the sink so that it could begin to fill up.

"I thought maybe it was Sasori's death," Deidara continued. "But Kakuzu said that Hidan was already like this the day before you killed him,"

Itachi just nodded.

***

"Fuck!'

Hidan smashed his fist into the wall. A film of dust fell from the rock as a result of the impact.

_Why can't I stop thinking about him? _He thought angrily, rubbing his knuckles as they turned into an angry shade of red. _I can't do anything…especially not now…now that he's…_

He glanced instinctively at the pole propped against the wall. He reached over for it and ran his finger over the sharp point. Maybe it was time for a distraction.

Deidara had been in his room when he heard Hidan swear and punch the wall.

He was snapped out of the reverie that often took over him when he was designing new bombs. He sighed and got up, wiping his hands briefly on the wet cloth before gliding out of his room and into the doorframe of the Jashinist's, who was presently leaning over himself, hands on his knees. There was a sharpened pole pierced straight through him: from what Deidara could see, it went straight through his heart.

"Hidan," Deidara said. He saw the Jashinist freeze, as if his voice inflicted as much pain as his scythe would.

Hidan turned around and Deidara _had _to grimace. It was hard not to, even for the most hardened of the Akatsuki. But it was also one of those things that you can't help but look at: it was disgusting to the point of morbidly interesting.

"Oh," Hidan said, stammering slightly. "It's you," he touched a hand to his forehand.

_Man _Deidara thought. _Even his fingers are bloody. _

The two men stood in silence, each not knowing what to say next. Hidan felt nervous. Deidara felt unnerved.

"Get that out of there," Deidara said, walking up the Jashinist and pulling the pole outwards. It made a sickeningly wet sound as it slid out of Hidan's flesh and came out clean. Deidara dropped it immediately. "It's grossing me out,"

"Then get out of here," Hidan said, his voice borderline cold. "No one told you to look,"

Hidan's stomach felt uneasy right after the words left his lips. He instantly regretted them, but knew it was the only way to keep Deidara—that is, Itachi—away from him.

Deidara cocked his head and crossed his arms defensively. "Fine," he snapped. "I just came in to see how you were doing, you know. But if I'm obviously not welcome…,"

Deidara was surprised at how upset he felt.

Hidan didn't say anything. He was beginning to remind Deidara of Sasori, which was a _bad thing. _

"I'll get out," Deidara said finally. He stalked out, looking supremely pissed off at the short, sharp and ultimately pointless exchange of words.

Hidan groaned loudly and scratched the back of his head in angst. He didn't need even _more _on his fucking conscience. If he was acting normally, he would've barked a sheepish apology down the hallway. But he wasn't normal. He hadn't been ever since he'd kissed Deidara. So he didn't say anything. He picked up the pole, grabbed it where Deidara had touched it and threw it across the room.


	2. Chapter 2

When Deidara returned to his room he no longer felt the want to continue what he had been doing. But then, if he didn't continue designing and creating his notorious bombs, he had nothing else to do except brood. And there were already enough brooding types in the Akatsuki— Hidan's behaviour was but the tip of the iceberg—and he didn't want to add onto the pile.

He collapsed onto his bed and achingly recalled his short visit to Hidan. The Jashinist had been bitter, but, if it was not just Deidara's imagination, it was a bitterness that was thoroughly forced.

"This is ridiculous," he muttered, pulling his Akatsuki coat off over his head. Lately, had hadn't been bothered to unbutton it: he figured that it was big enough to just pull on and off, and he didn't have to be bothered to undo the buttons in the first place. He threw the thick garment onto the floor and ran a hand through his hair, combing the long blonde hair out.

"Not _you _too,"

Deidara exhaled loudly and moved over on the bed to allow space for Itachi to sit down.

"Sorry," Deidara mumbled, scooping up the coat and folding it over in half. He placed it neatly next to him.

Itachi patted his shoulder awkwardly. "Hidan, right?"

Deidara glanced at Itachi's hand. "Yeah," he said after a while. "…I don't even know why I'm shaken up by it,"

"By him,"

"By him, whatever,"

"Perhaps… he's the only one who felt the loss,"

Deidara shrugged Itachi's hand off and stared at him. "_Hidan_, of all people, is mourning Sasori's _death? _Last I checked, Hidan was a—,"

"Stop, Deidara," Itachi gave the Iwa nin a half glare. "You can't try and understand it. If Hidan feels bad after Sasori's death, leave him alone,"

Deidara opened and closed his mouth, obviously wanting to say something in protest, but then thought better of it and looked away from Itachi angrily. He couldn't shake off the feeling that Hidan was like that specifically because of Sasori's death, which, of course played a role in his new behaviour, but—

"I'm going to go," Itachi's clothes rustled as he got up. "I just came by to see how you were,"  
Deidara chuckled. There was a hint of bitterness in it, but overall, it sounded pretty warm.

"You have a real, live little brother, Itachi," Deidara said. "Why don't you try taking care of him instead, and check how _he's _doing?"

Itachi's eyes clouded over and he walked out of the room.

"Harsh, Deidara…," Deidara flopped backwards onto his bed and massaged the side of his neck. Why was he being such an asshole? Itachi was just being nice…well, probably not _nice…_maybe he was transferring all his big brother-ness to Deidara, simply because he was the youngest in the Akatsuki. Or…

It suddenly hit Deidara that he knew nothing about the Uchiha but the Uchiha knew everything about him. When Itachi had put his hand on Deidara's shoulder—it kind of woke him up. There was probably shitloads of things that Deidara had no idea about to do with Itachi, like if he was—

_Itachi?_ Deidara thought, repositioning himself so that his head was actually on a pillow. _No way. He's way too…_

He didn't finish his own sentence. He didn't want to. He turned over on his side and forced himself to think about it no more.

***

Hidan was the last to sleep that night.

Out of all the people who actually slept that is: Kakuzu never did. Or if he did, it went for as long as your average power nap. Not to mention the guy was an extremely light sleeper. Hidan had no idea how Kakuzu could still function at optimum speed when he was constantly going without sleep.

Tonight, though, Kakuzu was asleep. Hidan had listened until he heard his partner get into bed. Then he had slipped out of the room, walked into the kitchen, pretended to get himself a drink, and then went to the long way to Sasori's room.

The place still looked like it normally did, except for the huge blackened section which had been Sasori's bed. Hidan tore his eyes away from it, trying not to remember the night he had been here, and went further into the room until he reached the pile of puppets which Sasori had previously discarded as "failures".

"Oi, Sasori," Hidan whispered. "I know you're in there. Now get out,"

One of the puppets began to shift. The corner of Hidan's mouth curled in a smirk.

**Sorry to leave it on such a note…you're probably all confused at the moment…but it's all for a purpose…I remember when I was playing Pheonix Wright I was perpetually confused, so I can empathize. Anyway, I'm going to Sydney tomorrow (gotta get up at 4 am! TT__TT) so no updates for about a week after the next chapter I upload.  
**


	3. Chapter 3

Sasori's ghost was a combination of frightening and interesting.

The Fireball Jutsu had, of course, engulfed him completely, causing his death, and right now the spectre itself was sporting shrivelled skin and soot marks here and there. He had lost locks of his hair and now resembled a puppet, very much like the ones he was halfway through transforming into a full and complete puppet. Hidan winced a little at the wounds.

"I knew it," Hidan said, reaching out to see if he could touch the ghost. He couldn't. "You're still around,"

"You saw me, obviously," Sasori deadpanned, sounding kind of morose. "Otherwise, you wouldn't have known. The others don't,"

"So what happened?" Hidan demanded, his previous angst ebbing away as it was replaced by concern and curiosity. "What the fuck did you do to Deidara?"

Sasori's eyes widened freakishly when he heard Deidara's name.

_Fuck _Hidan thought, biting his lip and balling his fists. _He looks…fucking scary…_

"I didn't even do jackshit to that _brat_," Sasori said, literally gliding forward and looking Hidan in the eye. It made Hidan shiver. "He tricked everyone—he tricked Itachi,"

"Please," Hidan laughed weakly, backing off. "Deidara can't trick anyone,"

"Oh, but he did," Sasori said, smiling a little. "He's smarter than all you people think. I know it, as well as having experienced his _cunning_,"

"Just…fine," Hidan didn't want to argue against a ghost. Especially since it looked like _that. _"What'd he do?"

Sasori craned his neck, stretching it. He turned back and looked at Hidan.

"Ask him yourself," he said slowly. "Then come back to me,"

***

Deidara's eyes snapped open suddenly. He had no idea what to expect. He sat up and glanced towards his open door. He didn't even know he'd left it open. He slipped out of bed quietly and went over to close the door when he saw something.

_Shit _he thought.

He watched as Hidan slipped out of Sasori's room discreetly. The Jashinist's eyes met Deidara's for a while. There was something in those eyes that Deidara could not decipher. Then Hidan looked away and walked down the hall.

Deidara cocked his head and glanced in the direction of Sasori's room. He stepped out, shivering a little in the cold and turned into Sasori's room.

The sight shocked him a bit. The black outline of where the Fireball had burned was still obvious, even in the moonlight. He ignored this and followed his gut. He stepped further in, passed the room where all the poisons were stored and where he had taken a vial from, and into the chamber where all the puppets were. Their glass eyes stared back at him eerily. His eyes skipped over them, looking for anything out of place. He found nothing. He was about to leave when he saw a pile of other puppets he'd never seen before in the corner. It appeared that they were ones that were discarded.

He stepped towards it and felt a rising tension inside him. The puppets were motionless and, well, lifeless, but there was a sinister air about them. Deidara was about to reach over and touch them when he felt his eyes flutter. He needed sleep. He could do this later. He stopped, the tips of his fingers a breath away from the wood of the puppets. He straightened and turned around, walking hurriedly away, wanting to collapse into the sheets of his bed.

Little did he know that Sasori's ghost was watching him as he left, his eyes narrowed and unmoving, and his mouth a grim, unsatisfied line.

***

Hidan woke up.

He felt even more screwed, especially after seeing Sasori's ghost yesterday night. _Why the fuck is my life so screwed up at the moment?! _He yelled inwardly, getting up and not bothering to cover up. He walked out to the dining room without a shirt to find Deidara just sitting there, delicately picking the grains out of the multigrain bread in front of him.

"Only bread left," Deidara explained unnecessarily, flicking a seed onto his plate. Hidan ignored him, his heart beating fast, and tried to hold the question in a little longer. He grabbed his personal milk carton and drained it. He tossed the empty container into the bin and pulled out the chair opposite Deidara.

"Let me ask you something,"

Deidara tensed. He'd already known this was coming, anyway. He shouldn't have been feeling stressed out about it—but he was. Hidan waited for a response and, since he didn't get one, he continued.

"What'd Sasori ever do to you?"

Deidara clenched his teeth. He breathed through his nose.

"Don't wanna answer that, sorry,"

"Why not?" Hidan demanded. "You're too embarrassed to say, or…," he leaned forward. "…did he not even do anything to you?"

"How can you say _that_?" Deidara stood up abruptly. "He did _unmentionable _things to me,"

"Unmentionable?" Hidan repeated. Deidara sounded so…serious. Not to mention his face was contorted with genuine outrage and plastered with an expression that was indisputably upset. _Just who the fuck is telling the truth?_

"Yeah, that's what I just said,"

Hidan felt bad. He stood up and put his hand on Deidara' s shoulder. Deidara shrugged it off and briefly wondered why so many people were touching him nowadays. "Piss off," he said.

"Sorry, okay?" Hidan put up his hands in defeat. "Just…I've been fucking curious ever since…,"

Deidara crossed his arms defensively.

"…why did Sasori die?"

"Because he had to," Deidara breathed. "Because he deserved to. He was _scum_,"

Hidan was a little taken aback by Deidara's sharp, undisguised words of scorn.

"But if you want to know so badly," Deidara said, looking Hidan in the eye and holding the gaze steadily. "Sasori raped me, yeah? Is that good enough for you?"

Usually, he would've taken ages to let that come out of his mouth. But now that Sasori was dead, it was like…it didn't matter anymore. Kind of.

"Shit," was all Hidan could manage as he tried to imagine the rape scene itself—if it really happened. He didn't know what to believe and what not to at the moment. But when he did re enact the situation in his head, he could kind of see it happening. Sasori got what he wanted, and he didn't, well…

"Now go tell everyone," Deidara said sarcastically. "Tell the world that Deidara was fucking—,"

"Calm the heck down," Hidan interjected. "I'm not going to!"

"Ha!" Deidara laughed. "Hidan, not going to tell anyone something as big as this? My fucking ass,"

"Is that what you think?" Hidan said, a desperation creeping into his voice. Deidara noticed it instantly.

"Um…isn't that what you _are_?" Deidara managed, stuttering a little. The way Hidan was looking at him…it was kind of unnerving. "A prick?"

Hidan flinched.

"Yeah, I guess, but…," Hidan walked around the table and grabbed Deidara's wrist. He held it tight in a way which Deidara thought was kind of reassuring. "…I'm not going to tell anyone. I just…you know, needed to know for myself,"

Hidan tightened his grip around the Iwa nin's wrist. _Whose side am I on? _He asked himself.

_I don't fucking know…_

Deidara stared at Hidan for a while, then yanked his wrist free. It was making him supremely uncomfortable. That, along with Hidan's eyes. They still held some sort of a message. One that Deidara couldn't even begin to interpret.


	4. Chapter 4

"You _raped _Deidara?"

Sasori's ghostly figure wavered, like it he was shuddering.

"That is such a harsh word," Sasori replied as delicately as ever. "Let's just say he didn't want to do it—I did,"

"Rape. _Exactly_,"

"I told you I do not want to hear that word,"

Hidan turned away huffily in surrender.

"This turns the tables a bit, don't you think? You said he tricked us all,"

"And he did,"

"But you just admit that you—,"

Sasori's form was drifting amongst his many puppets, which were suspended by individual strings from the ceiling. "Hidan…," he began slowly. "Obviously, there is a second part to this story,"

"What _more _is there to a rape?"

"I have to admit, it was rather dextrous of him," Sasori said. "For one, I didn't even realize Itachi was on his side, protecting him as he did. I always thought they both despised each other,"

"Me, too," Hidan agreed randomly. He shrugged when Sasori glared at him and flicked a finger against one of the puppets.

"Itachi left on his mission," Sasori continued. "And Deidara came to my room. _My _room. _This _room. He was asking for it,"

Hidan said nothing, just took in the information.

"Asking for…_it_?"

Sasori nodded. "Oh, it was a good night. I thought that little brat had finally come to realize that I was, indeed, to be listened to. I thought he'd learned. I thought he really did want to do it with me, then,"

Hidan said nothing, which was odd of him. Sasori examined the Jashinist's face for a moment.

"He was very good," Sasori commented. "He did everything. We did everything. But little did I know that it was just an _act_,"

"An…act?" Hidan said nervously, snapping back to attention.  
" He wanted to distract me long enough for him to steal a poison…he waited until I fell asleep,"

"You mean, he poisoned himself?"

Sasori smiled. "Correct,"

"So that Itachi would…?"  
"Ditto,"

"Wow," Hidan breathed. He would never have guessed that Deidara possessed that sort of…cunning if he hadn't heard it from Sasori. He wasn't really moved by the new information, either. He didn't hate Deidara so much as—

Hidan blushed and turned away from Sasori. When he had composed himself, he turned around to see the ghost of the redhead seated on top of the pile of puppets, bored.

"So…um…,"

"I have learned to accept what has happened to me," Sasori said. "Yesterday night, after you left, Deidara came into the room. He paid me a visit,"

"How about that," Hidan grumbled.

"He didn't see me of course. But I knew what he was thinking: I could tell he regretted it. He didn't seem to appreciate my being absent from his life,"

"Really?" Hidan inched forward. "He actually _likes _you?" his voice sounding bitter.

"No," Sasori replied. "He does not. As far as I know, I think he thinks little of me as a friend. But he just did not like the feeling that I was gone forever,"

"I…see," Hidan said, sounding like he was choked up.

"What is wrong with you?" Sasori asked. "You've been like this ever since…ever since the day before I died,"

"Never mind,"

Sasori rolled his eyes at Hidan's defensiveness.

"Anyway….even though I have accepted that yes, I am dead, I do not like the fact that trickery was involved in my cause of death. I want to clear my name,"

"That…won't that just kill Itachi inside? He trusted Deidara,"

"Evidently,"

"So…,"

"Look, you think I _care _if they're still best friends or not?"

Hidan shrugged. "Maybe,"

"Well I don't," Sasori snapped. He inspected the ends of a lock of his hair before continuing.

"I am going to appear to every single Akatsuki member tonight. Deidara will be last, and you, of course, are unnecessary. But tomorrow morning, at least everyone will know the truth,"

Hidan didn't say anything.

"Including the fact that he and I had an affair," Sasori laughed. "I'm dead. I don't care about blackening my reputation…but what of Deidara?"

Hidan opened his mouth to say something but Sasori had gone.

_Shit _Hidan thought as he walked out of the room. _Shit shit shit!_

_***  
_

The first person to say anything to Deidara was none other than Itachi.

Deidara had been up all night, especially after Sasori's visit. The ghostly appearance of his late partner did little to dampen his spirits, but what he said did.

"Deidara…so nothing happened to you in the end,"

"I had to get rid of him, Itachi…,"

"That's an admission. I was looking for that,"  
Deidara clamped his mouth shut. _Shit. _

"You made me kill Sasori…for no reason?"  
"For _no _reason?" Deidara protested, the look in his eyes resembling that of Sasuke's when he was being defiant. Itachi felt a twinge of sadness at the memory of Sasuke. "He…oh, forget it,"

"I know," Itachi replied calmly. "But…you used me,"

Deidara shook his head. "I did… I utilized what was available to me. But you were being so…open. I felt that I could…,"

"Enough," Itachi held up a hand. "Don't want to hear it,"

Deidara snorted. "Fine,"

Itachi exhaled loudly. "This will never happen again…,"

"What? Me tricking you? Of course not,"

"No," Itachi said coldly. "You and I being friends,"

"I didn't ask you to be one," Deidara snapped childishly as the Uchiha left.

***

Deidara was the last to appear at the dining table that night, understandably. Kisame grinned widely when he pulled his chair out and sat down.

"Looking at you, I never would've imagined,"

"Shut up,"

Deidara saw Kakuzu roll his eyes at Kisame's immaturity and felt a pang of gratitude to Hidan's partner.

"You and Sasori, huh?" was all he said. "Disgusting, but…I can handle it,"

"So what was it _like_?" Kisame teased. Itachi immediately got up and left, his face clouded with annoyance. Deidara watched him go. It made him feel like a total dickhead, but at the same time he didn't care. Fuck Itachi.

"It must've been good," Hidan said quietly.

Kakuzu's head whipped around to stare at his partner questioningly.

Kisame chortled at Hidan's answer.

"So who screwed who?"

Deidara ignored Kisame, locating a piece of carrot in the soup and putting it into his bowl. He preferred chunky soups.

"Kisame," Kakuzu said warningly. "We don't want to hear about _that_,"

"Just curious,"

Deidara glanced at Hidan, who was stirring his spoon around in his bowl absentmindedly. He felt the sudden urge to boast about it. He didn't know what it was, but it was _irresistible. _

"He screwed me," Deidara announced loudly, smiling in satisfaction when Hidan looked up at him with a look of complete disbelief on his features. Deidara gave him a shrug of nonchalance.

"Oh, _man_," Kisame cracked the chicken bone between his sharp teeth and spat them out. "That must've been some—,"

"Stop," Kakuzu said. "Both of you,"

Hidan shook his head and slipped into his trance again. But this time, he had a small smile on his face and a blush across his cheeks like he had learned something new…and that something new was incredibly pleasing.


	5. Chapter 5

**A preview to the next part / a hint at what's messing up our Hidan…**

"_Was _it good?"

Hidan stayed back and waited for Deidara, who was washing up alone tonight. The blonde glanced at Hidan briefly he plugged the sink.

Deidara sighed in exasperation and wiped his wet hand on his pants.  
"It wasn't that great,"

Hidan just nodded, but his cheeks were suddenly tingling as the smile spread across his face. Deidara cocked his head, wondering what was making Hidan smile so much, and then returned his attention to the stack of dirty dishes in front of them.

Hidan watched as Deidara scrubbed the first few plates. His mind made up once and for all, he pushed the Iwa nin aside as gently as he could.

"Here," he mumbled shyly, his discomfort at being so affectionate exemplified by the blush that was blindingly obvious on his cheeks. "I'll do them for you,"


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry for the wait…as I said, I was in Sydney. Very tiring. I was in a car for 12 hours. And I got lost in the shopping centre/ shopping mall/ whatever you want to call them. But what has that got to do with anything? Enjoy the new chapter.  
**

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* * *

  
**

Deidara glared at Hidan, decidedly miffed at his sudden push. He watched as Hidan took over, and, surprisingly, he was adept at washing dishes. Deidara was much too confused to say anything, so instead pulled himself up and sat on top of the kitchen counter opposite the sink.

Neither of them said anything for a while: immediately after pushing Deidara away and offering to do the dishes, his entire face and neck area had heated up and now he felt literally weak all over. He had to basically force himself to slow down his breathing.

"Hidan…," Deidara looked at his suspiciously. "What the hell is up with you?"

"What do you mean?" Hidan gave a weak laugh and felt his heart thud violently against his chest.

"Since when did Jashinism request and promote maternal behaviours from its followers?"

"I'm just being nice," Hidan grabbed the large tea towel from its hook and wiped his wet hands on it.

"Right," Deidara said. "Since when did Jashinism promote that either?"

Hidan shrugged. He crossed his arms, which were beginning to grow shaky and turned to look at Deidara, who was looking at him with a mixture of puzzlement and amusement.

"So…," he began a bit shakily. "About that other time…,"

Hidan swallowed, recalling when he and Deidara shared that weirdly…_tender _kiss. He knew it was kind of a sore subject, especially since Deidara had reacted so negatively to it. Hidan wondered if he would elicit the same results if he did it again…now.

"I'm sorry,"

"That's okay," Deidara answered quickly, reddening slightly. "I got over it,"

"Really?" Hidan asked, feeling slightly relieved, slightly disappointed. Did that mean that Deidara didn't—wouldn't—want to re-enact that?

Deidara nodded hesitantly, not knowing where this conversation was going or why the topic was even brought up in the first place.

"Everything that comes after Sasori is nothing," he began. "'Not to say it doesn't mean anything…I guess I'm just desensitized to that sort of thing now,"

"But you were really pissed," Hidan interjected.

"Of course I was pissed," Deidara snapped. Hidan cursed himself endlessly until he saw Deidara relax again. "You…,"

The blonde sighed and turned around, his back to Hidan.

"Never mind," he said gloomily. "You, of all people, won't sympathize,"

"I can try," Hidan offered, noticing that he sounded _extremely _out of character. Even Deidara noticed, because he turned around again and gave Hidan an odd look.

"Hidan," he said. "Swear for me,"

"Why?"

"Just do it,"

"Fuck,"

"That's good," Deidara walked over and patted Hidan on the cheek. His touch was warm and sent a blush across the Jashinist's cheeks, made his pulse increase and provoked a jolt of what felt oddly like electricity up his body. "That's the Hidan I know,"

He laughed a little and backed away again.

"Never do that again," he said.

"What?"

"Don't try to sympathize with me," Deidara said. "That's what I'm saying,"

"What if I want to?"  
"Why do you want to? You're…Hidan. You're a Jashinist. You're _not..._the type/ You're the type to laugh in my face,"

"Is that how you see me?"

Deidara nodded. "Why not? That's the image you've cultivated in this organization. Utterly shameless, a bit of a bully…,"

"Please," Hidan laughed nervously. "I'm not always like that,"

"Bullshit," Deidara spat. "When you…kissed me in my own room? That was shameless. And it was sexual assault,"

Hidan shook his head. "I know. I regret it,"

_Actually no, I don't…_

"No you don't," Deidara said, as if he had read Hidan's thoughts. "I bet you want to do it again,"

Hidan froze. _Shit, shit, shit. _He tried to compose himself. _What would normal Hidan say?_

"Argh," he put a hand to his forehead and looked agitated. "You got me, then. So what? It just means you know that I want to get in your pants,"

"Whatever,"

"But it's not _all _I want to do," Hidan walked over and took Deidara by both his shoulders. They felt oddly slender beneath his hands and he resisted the urge to pull them in…and inspect them further, say, with his mouth.

Deidara immediately tensed up at Hidan's touch.

"You sure about that?" Deidara asked, somewhat teasingly. "Or are you just trying to gain some affection from me by trying to imply less—,"

"Deidara," Hidan gave his shoulders a little shake. "Shut up, geez. I'm trying to say something here,"

"Oh sorry," Deidara rolled his eyes. "I didn't hear you trying," he said sarcastically. But then he paused and looked at Hidan with genuine seriousness.

"I'm waiting then,"

Hidan put his head down and closed his eyes. He wondered if he was actually going to say it right here, right now. If he was going to let Deidara know that ever since he kissed him in his room and was sent off without so much as an argument that he'd actually felt something other than lust for Deidara. It was the cause of his sudden mysterious behaviour. It was what was making him perpetually spaced out, softening him, making him irresponsive. He had been so un-Hidan lately…and it was all because he had finally felt that…_thing. _He'd been hit with a serious and unrelenting case of unrequited love ever since that incident. He wanted to kick himself because he knew that if anyone found out that he finally had some sort of a weakness—Deidara—they would pay him out endlessly. It wasn't good to have a weakness. It made you more vulnerable. He had been trying to avoid that, and now…

And Deidara's no-less-than-explosive reaction to Hidan's mouth on his own—for even one second—didn't make Hidan's sleepless nights better. He had lain awake, wondering if Deidara hated him now and it was all his damn fault. The way he'd made that suggestive comment at the table when Deidara was sick, the way he'd just…he was disgusted with himself. He was always so forward, and he couldn't help it. It was just the way he was. And it had landed him in hot water with a person that he actually _liked—_possibly loved—right now. It wasn't good for him. In the past few days, he had been deep in thought, contemplating his self, having deep and meaningful conversations with himself, asking himself if it was going to be worth it, asking himself if this was the real thing or if he was going to get over it in a month or so.

In the end, he knew he wasn't going to rest peacefully unless he'd told Deidara.

_Now or never _he thought, glancing up and looking into Deidara's eyes. They gave away nothing.

"You already know that, yeah, I wanna get in your pants, blondie,"

Deidara nodded, a silent urge for Hidan to continue. It was sort of encouraging, and that made Hidan slightly more confident with his venture into the shaky world of love confessions. Deidara seemed to be a bit more comfortable when Hidan was being his normal self, so Hidan decided to let his "bully"-like disposition take over for the next part. He felt the adrenaline pumping around his body and he wondered briefly if it was because he was touching Deidara. His temples were giving him a headache and his heart felt like it was pounding against his ribs, on the verge to break out of its bony enclosure.

"Fuck it," he said under his breath. He leaned forward and kissed Deidara again, the Iwa nin's lips feeling somewhat familiar beneath his own. Deidara, unsurprised, didn't pull back. He didn't pull back or return the kiss. He just stood there and let Hidan do what he wanted to do. He didn't even feel anything. He wasn't disgusted, nor was he suddenly turned on by the change of events. Like he had said before, he was desensitized.

Hidan pulled away slightly to inhale before doing it again. He wanted to make this last as long as possible. He wanted to remember it, even though Deidara wasn't kissing him back. It still felt extremely good. It made his head feel like it was going to explode. He angled his head to the side and tested Deidara's willingness to open his mouth for him. He wasn't going to just stand around and just kiss like this after all. Deidara was initially reluctant but told himself to just fuck it. He didn't know what Hidan was getting at, and he had to admit that it was kind of obvious that Hidan had more to say, but…

He put a hand behind Hidan's head, digging some of his fingers into the Jashinist's silvery hair, and—finally—kissed Hidan back.


	7. Chapter 7

**Season's greetings to all/ Merry Christmas = ) Hope you're all having a good time. I just came back from Mass…let's just say it was very crowded. And my brother and I kept making Yugioh the Abridged Series references, so everyone would be singing Away in a Manger and my brother would be like "Screw the money, I have rules!". We're the only ones to laugh, ever, during Mass. Even the twin babies (aw…) who sit behind us are dead quiet. Ahem, anyway…**

Deidara was beginning to get into it when Hidan decided to stop.

The Jashinist pulled away and glanced nervously at Deidara, looking kind of pathetic.

Deidara decided to speak up first.

"So what's this all about?" he asked, licking his lips. He and Hidan were still standing quite close together, and he was _actually _restraining himself from, well, jumping Hidan.

_Hidan…_Deidara thought, somewhat begrudgingly. _I never would've thought I'd want to jump Hidan. _

"Um…ugh," Hidan distanced himself from Deidara a bit. He didn't want to unveil to Deidara that he liked him when he was only a breath away. He was scared that Deidara would overreact or something and Hidan would be in point blank range for one of his C5 bombs. Either that or Hidan would go overboard with his confession and end up picking Deidara up, slamming him down on the kitchen counter, and—

"You know how I've been acting weird lately?" Hidan began, crossing his arms and looking off to the side to avoid Deidara's intense, laser-beam gaze. "It's…kinda…,"

Deidara didn't say anything, just stepped forward and, without further warning, brought Hidan's body close to his again and put his head on Hidan's broad shoulder. Hidan didn't know what to make of this until he felt it against his leg.

_Oh damn…_he thought, realizing with a happy thump in his chest that Deidara was...

…_fucking aroused. _

"Just continue," Deidara managed, his voice low and strained. Hidan smiled to himself and put a hand on Deidara's waist. To his amusement, Deidara now seemed more…desperate than he was.

"You've been making me like that,"

Deidara groaned and buried his head in Hidan's shoulder.

"I can see that _now_," Deidara said, his voice muffled. "But what was the freaking point of moping around looking sad and depressed?"

"That was…I thought you hated me,"

"Hated you?" Deidara stood back and stared at Hidan. "Why would I—wait, I figured it out,"

Hidan nodded shyly. "Yeah,"

"Well," Deidara blew air out of the corner of his mouth. It made the thick blonde lock of hair in front of his right eye flicker upwards. "I can't say I didn't hate you. You were a pain in the ass. A _big _pain,"

"Yeah…I realized that too late," Hidan's eyes flickered up and down Deidara's body. It seemed that the Iwa nin's boner had passed and now he looked extremely relaxed. "After I kissed you in your room? That's when it all started. That's when I realized that…you know," he finished awkwardly.

"That you liked me?" Deidara smiled and wound a silvery lock of Hidan's hair around one of his fingers.

_What a frigging tease…_Hidan thought as his hair went taut around Deidara's finger.

"Y…yeah,"

"Well, well, well," Deidara laughed. "Hidan likes me, Deidara? Has the world come to an end?"

"No," Hidan answered, a smile tugging at his lips. "I don't fucking believe it either,"

"Believe me," Deidara said. "It's harder for me,"

"So…,"

"Hidan," Deidara loosened his finger and put it to Hidan's lips. "Stop talking so damn much,"

"Then what should we do?" Hidan said playfully. Deidara rolled his eyes, but was smiling.

"I guess we could just _talk_," Deidara said finally. "I'm wondering what everyone else would make of this,"

"They didn't have such a big reaction to you and Sasori…," Hidan offered, his voice weakening a bit when the redhead's name slipped from his lips. He watched Deidara closer for any bad reactions to it but he saw none.

"Yeah, just a few jibes here and there,"

"Then…,"

"I guess its fine," Deidara finished. "Not that they can do anything about it. Most likely thing is, they'll ignore the fact that we're, you know, making out in a corner or something,"

Hidan found himself blushing when Deidara finished his sentence. The all-too-vivid image of him and Deidara _making out_ was just…

"Can we do that?" he said, grabbing Deidara's wrist and pressing the blonde's seductively lean body against the counter behind him.

Deidara laughed. It sounded nice, since Deidara hardly smiled around him, let alone laughed.

"We're not in a corner, though," he said, his eyes shamelessly tracing the ripples on Hidan's chest. "But I guess this can work,"

Hidan glanced at the door. He wondered what time it was, and wondered if anyone would stumble across them.

_Fuck it _he thought. Deidara's body just felt too damn good against his for Hidan to just _stop. _Their Akatsuki coats were accumulatively thick, but Hidan could still feel the delicious slenderness that was Deidara's body. It was an odd combination: Hidan with his muscular frame that was pocketed with scars and irregularly, grotesquely shaped wounds played a sharp contrast to Deidara's own, blemish free, soft body. It made Hidan realize why Sasori would go to such lengths just to see it without anything on it…and to be inside it.

Deidara nuzzled the skin just below Hidan's ears with his nose affectionately.

"God," Hidan breathed. "Are you always so…,"

"Nope," Deidara said, his breath tickling Hidan's skin. "It's just you…and that time with Sasori,"

He let out a bitter laugh, then closed his eyes and kissed Hidan. Hard. He didn't seem to have a care in the world about being seen.

_Well.._Hidan thought. _When you've already been scarred by a previous incident…_

Deidara pulled away. "Are we gonna do this _here _or are we gonna go somewhere?"

"What are we going to get up to?" Hidan raised an eyebrow and grinned mischievously at the millions of racy thoughts running through his uncontrollably horny mind.

Deidara didn't smile. "Do you need to ask?" he said impatiently. He slipped a few fingers between the folds of Hidan's Akatsuki coat, found a patch of bare skin, and brushed his fingertips against it lightly. It made Hidan shiver with anticipation.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: I read my entire fanfic again to get into the zone, and then I realized I had to start where I left off—an imminent sex scene. I have to congratulate my past self for creating such an awkward loose end for me.**

Deidara's heavy Akatsuki coat fell with a muffled _whump _to the ground as the Iwa nin slid it off himself. His forwardness took Hidan by surprise, and he felt himself take a step back as Deidara reached up and wrapped his arms around Hidan's muscular neck.

After Deidara's fingers had grazed that delicate patch of skin, Hidan had suggested they take it back to one of their rooms. They'd stumbled excitedly into Hidan's, which was closer, and then…

"Mmph,"

Deidara's hand was stroking one of Hidan's healed wounds, his thumb lurking dangerously, erotically close to Hidan's crotch. Hidan closed one of his own hands around Deidara's, and pulled it into his pants. Keeping his hand around Deidara's wrist, Hidan moaned softly as Deidara's fingers played against his shaft. He felt the flicker of the tongue down there too, as the mouth on that hand opened and began to engage Hidan in some very fantastic fellatio. He wondered briefly if this was what it had felt like for him and Sasori, when Deidara tricked him.

_Did blondie use the same trick? _

Hidan's eyes snapped open. Deidara's were still closed, his mouth moving in sync with Hidan's. A sudden, horrible thought had just occurred to the Jashinist.

_Fuck. _He pulled away suddenly, forcing Deidara's hand to leave the warm inside of his pants with a regrettable shove.

"What?" Deidara almost snapped. His body was lean and nubile, and Hidan wanted to punch himself in the crotch for feeling what he felt right now, and _thinking _it, pondering the possibility of it, and thusly rejecting Deidara's highly desirable advances.

"Why are you doing this?" Hidan blurted, wishing the tent in his pants would go away so he wouldn't look so desperate. "You don't even like me,"

The question seemed to stun Deidara, who looked at Hidan strangely.

_Hey, _Hidan thought. _How come _he _doesn't have a boner? _

"Since when was this about love, Hidan?" Deidara answered eventually, evenly. "Did I ever say it was?"

"Then what is this about?"

Deidara cocked his head. Taking his time and teasing Hidan by making him wait for the conclusive answer, Deidara wrapped a thick strand of blonde hair around his finger. He glanced behind himself before sitting on Hidan's table, propping his legs on the chair in front.

"What is this about?" Deidara said with mock thoughtfulness. The Iwa nin gazed steadily into the empty air above Hidan's head. Then he smirked and looked him straight in the eye. "It's about sex,"

* * *

"Wait…wh-what?"

Deidara watched Hidan's reaction with utmost glee.

"Hidan, you're the one who robbed me of an innocent kiss," Deidara went on. "Don't you think it's time you repaid me?"

"With…._sex_?" Hidan asked in disbelief. He tried to find himself beneath the betrayal he was feeling, and realized with a pang that he still felt the same about Deidara, no matter how fucked up the blondie was being at the moment.

"What can I say?" Deidara said, inspecting the ends of his air with what seemed to be genuine interest. "It's what I want. He peered up at Hidan. "Don't you want to give it to me?"

Hidan swallowed hard. An embarrassingly audible gulp. It was so fucking clear that Deidara was trying to seduce Hidan, playing him, teasing him like a ball of string to a kitten, and that Hidan was taking the bait. Dumbly. Hidan almost felt ashamed of himself, if only he had the capability to feel shame.

"But _of course_," Deidara continued, his words hinting at Hidan's palpable submission to him. He leaned forward, propping an elbow on one of his knees. He gazed pointedly at Hidan. "Don't you want me to love you?"

Hidan was stuck for words. If he said yes, he would be telling the truth, and he and Deidara would probably spend the night greatly enjoying themselves. But then he'd also look like a dumb-ass shit for giving in to a guy who only wanted him for his body. _There_ Hidan thought to himself. _I said it._ At least he could have _some _credit for being true to himself. The usual Hidan would be in a constant state of denial.

Then, if he said no, he would be lying, and he would be doing himself a lot of good. But who didn't want to get in bed with their crush, even though there was no love in it at all? Weren't there _some _feelings to having sex? _And what he just said, _Hidan bit his lip. _'Don't you want me to love you?'? _Was that an implication that he would love Hidan more if he let Deidara have him tonight?

It was extremely hard to believe, but…

"I…I do," Hidan burst out. "But…," _this could have me killed, just like Sasori. _

"But what?" Deidara slid off the desk and walked over to where Hidan was standing, rigidly still. The bomber rested one hand on his shoulder. The teeth in his hand bit Hidan slightly. It felt like a pinch. It made Hidan jump, despite how painless and trivial it was.

Deidara gazed with a touch of interest and amusement at Hidan. His lips looked so fucking kissable to Hidan, which didn't exactly help his situation.

"Come on," Deidara said, a sexily urgent note in his voice. The tongue from inside his hand lolled wetly against the skin on Hidan's shoulder. An annoyingly seductive move. Hidan stood his ground nevertheless. He _couldn't _be the desperate one.

Deidara seemed unfazed by Hidan's obvious , forced immobility. Instead, he worked with it; he let his hand slide down from his shoulder, his tongue leaving slick marks down Hidan's chest. Down, down, past his slightly scabby bellybutton, and gliding effortlessly into Hidan's pants again. The Jashinist groaned helplessly. Deidara used his spare hand to push Hidan back into the wall, all the while staring intently down at the lump his hand made in the pants.

_If I don't do anything myself, then I'm not exactly giving into him, am I_?

And then, for some reason, Sasori's voice slithered into his head.

_Immobility is worse than anything _else _you can do, you moron._

But it was almost as if Hidan couldn't hear him, because Deidara was too busy fiddling with his downstairs. And with his other hand firmly on Hidan's chest, Hidan was lost. Lost in the feeling, the heat of it all.

"Ah…," Hidan's expression of pleasure escaped his lips easily. He was still reluctant to have full blown sex with Deidara, but _this…_

_This is okay. _Hidan thought.

Deidara averted his gaze from Hidan's pants to Hidan's face. The Jashinist's lips were slightly parted, and his head was back, his eyes closed as he enjoyed what was happening. His lower body moved with Deidara's hand and mouth movements. Deidara made a sudden, firm twist with his hand and Hidan responded with a groan, his forehead creased.

"Oh my fucking—,"

Hidan opened his eyes and looked at Deidara. He couldn't—could he?

_No. _

At least not yet.


	9. Chapter 9

"You are an impudent prick," Sasori's ghost said coolly. "Surely, you knew the consequences,"

Hidan said nothing, just glanced in annoyance at Sasori's spectre.

"You're just pissed because he got you killed,"

"Perhaps," Sasori said. "Perhaps, perhaps. But that does not change the fact that you're an idiot,"

"We didn't go all the way," Hidan grumbled. "I have _some _self-control,"

"Liar," Sasori said, even before Hidan had thought it. Deidara's performance was without a doubt done to seduce Hidan; sensing that the Jashinist was almost arriving at his climax, Deidara stopped the rapid procession of his licking and sucking and left the room, almost as if he'd merely gone in for a chat. It had pissed the fuck out of Hidan at the time, especially when Deidara looked at him and smirked haughtily, because he knew exactly just how much Hidan wanted him, and how much Hidan wanted Deidara to finish what he'd started.

Hidan had to finish off himself, and it ended unsatisfactorily. When he did it himself, his dick always felt sore because he yanked too hard. And no shit, because it was perfectly Hidan to be rough to himself.

Just ask the millions of wounds he's ever had.

Hidan walked out of the room, feeling Sasori's disapproving glare on his back like laser beams. He went into his own room and picked his Akatsuki coat off the ground, shaking it out hastily and pulling his arm through the sleeves. He did some stretches in it so it didn't feel so foreign—he usually walked around half naked—and then picked up his scythe.

"Kakuzu!" he growled loudly, swinging the scythe about, appreciating its familiar weight in his hands. "You better be ready, you lout!"

* * *

The duo stepped out into the sunlight. It took a while for Hidan to get used to it. He shielded his eyes with a hand.

"Fuckin' sunshine," he growled.

Kakuzu revealed a tightly wound scroll from within his Akatsuki coat. "The family lives to the west," he said. His eyes traveled further down the scroll, widening in pleasure as he read. Hidan wondered if he was smiling beneath his mask, but he doubted it. "They live in a house carved from a monolith, and our sources tell that they have been sitting on an Aladdin's Cave for five generations,"

Hidan sniffed. Partnered with Kakuzu, you did little else than accompany the guy on missions like this: missions that involved nothing but money. Pein only sometimes allowed Hidan to initiate an unnecessary bloodbath these days, and today was no different. _So much for a two-way relationship. _Hidan calculated that this mission would take twenty minutes and no less. You had to be insane to stand up against the Akatsuki. And insanity certainly didn't render you invincible. Then again, there were many who _tried. _And failed miserably. Hidan couldn't blame them. For example, their target this morning, whatever their names were-five generations they've been hiding a fortune, its value accumulating as time went by, no doubt due to their antiquity. And who knows? Maybe they had added to the pile. Even _he'd _want to defend it.

"Our sources also say that actions performed by the family imply that they add to the pile,"

"That's nice," Hidan mumbled.

"Yearly," Kakuzu said, ignoring Hidan's clear disinterest in the situation. He let out a growl of satisfaction. "No, quarterly, if we let the speculation become fact,"

They had walked only a few minutes from the Akatsuki Lair when Kakuzu spotted a figure on the horizon. He didn't need a minute to process who it was.

"Itachi,"

The quiet man turned his head slightly, but didn't return a greeting of any sort. Hidan cocked an eyebrow but didn't say anything. He touched a hand to his crotch. _Dammit, _he thought. _It itches. _

Kakuzu and Itachi began to exchange a few words. Hidan's heart rate suddenly increased tenfold. _Itachi. Shit. _He wondered if the Uchiha knew about what he and Deidara had done yet. No, what _Deidara _had done to him. He doubted it, because Itachi hadn't so much as glanced at him yet.

Itachi said something to Kakuzu, and then suddenly turned to Hidan, who had just discreetly slipped his arm back through his sleeve and was in the process of trying to itch his dick inconspicuously. If Itachi had noticed the state of awkwardness he had caught Hidan in, he didn't show it. Instead, he just stared at him with the same expression he wore everyday.

"You are unusually quiet today, Hidan," he said indifferently. "It's a surprise,"

"It's a _relief_," Kakuzu grunted. He looked at the sun, then back at Itachi. "We must be on our way. Itachi," Kakuzu nodded and walked away. Hidan reluctantly withdrew his arm and jogged to catch up, avoiding Itachi's eyes as he passed him.

* * *

"There it is,"

Hidan didn't need Kakuzu to know that the house was up ahead. It stood out like a sore thumb amongst the simple wooden huts that occupied the rest of the ground. At first glance, it was obvious it had once been a giant stone obelisk...and that...

"Excellent," Kakuzu purred. Clearly, he had noticed it too. Millions upon millions of small gold flecks glimmered in the rock. Each held little value, but _together..._"Come, Hidan,"

"I'm comin', I'm comin'," Hidan grunted. "It's not like I'm gonna freaking stand here and pick my nose,"

As they neared the village, the rustling of their cloaks and the glint of sunlight off Hidan's three-pronged scythe became more and more apparent to the villagers, who immediately set off the panic button and were all hurtling towards the monolith-house hybrid. It was obvious that it was the village's only safehouse and formidable defence. Hidan hadn't noticed it before, but there was a thick wall surrounding the house, its battlements lined with guards. He had seen it all before. Appearances were deceiving. Only dumb, wealthy people would waste their money on building a wall such as this: Hidan didn't doubt that even the most low-ranked ninja could penetrate this so-called security measure. He gave his scythe a smooth swing before releasing it: it gleamed through the air and sank its blades into the ground, just missing a retreating male, who yelped and fell backwards onto his bottom. He scrabbled up, not daring to stare at the scythe for too long, and scuttled towards the house.

"Hidan," Kakuzu said warningly. But Hidan didn't seem to hear him, because in the next moment, he had implanted his scythe into the same guy. He was dead before he fell to the ground. Kakuzu said nothing, because there was nothing he could say. Once Hidan drew blood, there was really no way of stopping him unless you used a physical barricade. And Kakuzu _really _couldn't be fucked. Hidan walked over to inspect his kill. He yanked his scythe out and licked the top blade unnecessarily. The metallic taste of blood unwound him a bit, and he stopped thinking about the Deidara predicament for a moment. "Fuck you, _Pein_," he said under his breath. He swung his scythe around again and almost effortlessly got another kill. Kakuzu ignored the Jashinist as he bent over his the body and muttered incantations. His only interest was the money.

* * *

As soon as Hidan and Kakuzu walked into the Lair, it was obvious that Hidan had been unruly. Half of his Akatsuki coat was peeled open, hanging off his body limply, and the guy was streaked with blood and dirt. With all that blood, one would've been reasonable to assume that Hidan had gotten mauled yet somehow survived: and sure, Hidan had let the kunai hit him, but they didn't really count as devastating wounds. Especially since you were Hidan and you practically _lusted _for pain.

Hidan scanned the room for the flash of blonde hair. Absent. Hidan was somewhat grateful. His breath was still heavy and he needed to bath before Pein got all up his ass about the killings. But part of him _wanted _Deidara to see him like this.

"Why're you standing there like an idiot?" Kisame called out. His sword was laid out before him on the table. A lot of times, Hidan had wanted to touch it and play around with it, but all of those times Kisame had forbade him to.

"Samehada is not a mere plaything," he always said, very seriously, although his eyes glittered with admiration.

"Shut up, Kisame," Hidan snapped. He stalked across the room and yanked open the fridge. Behind him, Kisame chortled. The taste of blood was now dry in Hidan's mouth. He unscrewed the bottle of water and downed it quickly, his swallowing noises loud and desperate. He smacked his lips when he was done and replaced the bottle in the fridge even though it was empty.

"Shouldn't you be with your partner?" Hidan asked, recalling their meeting Itachi.

"Nah," Kisame replied smoothly. "He's off on some Itachi-only business,"

"Ha,"

Hidan dragged his scythe behind him as he walked, his chest heaving. First, he needed to wipe all this gunk off of himself. _Jashin has already witnessed my sacrifices. _

"Hidan,"

Pein was standing in Hidan's room.

"If you're here to fucking tell me off about killing all those fucking people, I'm not listening,"Hidan shoved past Pein and propped the scythe against the wall. He shed his coat and threw it onto his desk. It landed in a messy heap.

Pein remained motionless.

"You won't speak like that in front of me," he said slowly. The malice in his voice was sharp and clear, but it didn't faze Hidan, especially in the aggressive state that he was in. And Pein noticed, because when Hidan looked back at him, he had gone.

Hidan turned back and looked at himself in the mirror. He tried wiping the dirt smeared on his torso off with his hand, which was equally dirty, and didn't succeed. He searched around his room for a cloth that he could wet, and swore when he couldn't find one.

"Here," said a voice behind him. "Let me help,"

Hidan's head whipped around.

Deidara.


	10. Chapter 10

Hidan groaned inwardly. Deidara was like his worst enemy and best friend in one. At first he thought it was an oxymoron, a contradiction of terms, but then he realized with surprising profoundness that it was highly possible.

_Your best friend knows how to be your worst enemy, _he thought dramatically, too freaked the fuck out to even congratulate himself on this little phrase of wit.

"You seem to be having some trouble there," Deidara said, his eyes glittering gleefully. Hidan gulped. His eyes ran from the top of Deidara's bouncy blonde ponytail down to his black toenails.

"N-no, I'm fine, really,"

Hidan tore his eyes away and tried desperately to find a distraction, some sort of excuse, because once Deidara began his delicious handiwork on Hidan's package, it was all over.

Deidara cocked his head to the side at Hidan's back. It was pocketed with small wounds and scratches. It was far too obvious that Hidan was trying to avoid him.

_Does this count as sexual harassment? _Hidan thought stupidly as he knocked a giant book aside and shuffled through a box.

"You know you can't keep running forever,"

Hidan scratched his head in irritation. He looked over his shoulder at Deidara, who was still standing there like he owned the place, the smug little rat. He had crossed his arms and was tapping his finger on his elbow, waiting for a retort. When he didn't get one in the preferred time frame, he said: "In all seriousness, Hidan…,"

The Jashinist turned to look at him, to analyze his features for any sign of having a nasty ulterior motive. With his thickly lined eyes, Deidara's gaze was piercing, but otherwise there was nothing to suggest that he wanted to have Hidan killed under the false pretense that he, too, raped Deidara.

_Maybe I should trust him, _he thought to himself. _I mean, I do—_Hidan swallowed hard—_love him. Don't you trust people you love? _

Truthfully, Hidan wouldn't know, because he had never loved anyone ever before. He was sure that he had a family, and he wondered if they'd truly loved him, and therefore placed a lot of trust in him. Then he doubted it. He had a ratty, suspicious air about him from the age of five, ever since he stumbled across that book of Jashin…and again, Hidan wanted to kick himself in the nuts for sounding like such a lovesick pansy.

"Hidan?"

Hidan snapped out of his reverie and looked at Deidara, who looked slightly dismayed.

"Sorry, I was just…thinking,"

Deidara's mouth formed a thin line. He walked over to Hidan, his coat making soft swishing noises and reached up to Hidan. From an impulse, Hidan pulled away. He felt Deidara pause, and then braced himself to expect the worst. So what if his dick was sore? Another blow job would be really good right now—

"Mmm,"

Hidan felt the scrumptious softness of Deidara's prissy little lips press against his cheek in what took him three seconds too long to realize was a kiss. They felt cool and warm at the same time, with the right about of wetness. Hidan could have imagined it, but there was probably a flick of the tongue as well, against his cheek.

Deidara was surprised at how smooth Hidan's cheek was: like the rest of his body, it had looked tough and Deidara had assumed that the skin there was probably gross because it had been scuffed and ripped so many times. But it was okay. _He would smell great with cologne. _Come to think of it, Hidan _did _kind of look like a cologne-advertisement kind of guy, also given that he was clean shaven. Deidara resisted the urge to stroke that cheek, not wanting to give Hidan such satisfaction tonight, and instead drew away slowly, giving Hidan one last smoldering look before pivoting on his heel and walking away. His blonde hair had barely disappeared from view when Hidan touched two fingers to the spot Deidara had kissed and groaning slightly. His face was on fire. His heart was racing. The kiss had seemed..._loving. _

_What the fuck is wrong with me? _

_

* * *

_

Deidara was gliding confidently past Sasori's room when he caught something in the corner of his eye. At first, he didn't want to admit it, but then...he took several steps back. He was right. The edges of his lips curled up in amusement and triumph.

"Sasori," he said, grinning.

"Deidara," Sasori returned curtly. The puppeteer cursed himself. He still thought Deidara was hot, even after...? He couldn't really blame himself, could he? Admittedly, to anyone, Sasori was sure, the expression Deidara wore at that moment was nothing short of _hot. _

Deidara didn't even walk hesitantly. He just walked into the room like he had so many times before. He looked around at the cobwebs that had collected in the corners where the wall met the ceiling, and between the line of limp, dusty puppets. He didn't even wince at Sasori's appearance, which looked like it was rotting on the spot.

"I never knew you could come back as a ghost," Deidara began, like this was a perfectly normal conversational topic. He sounded as carefree as one would when commenting on the loveliness of the weather. Sasori wanted to punch him.

"I really thought you had left this world once and for all, Sasori no danna, hmm?"

Sasori for some reason recoiled slightly when _Sasori no danna _left Deidara's mouth. The motherfucker _still _spoke like he was guiltless, like he didn't just frame Sasori and got him killed. Had him assassinated. All these nights, especially on those when Hidan didn't pay him visits, he'd pondered over and over what he'd spit to Deidara when he finally let the bomber see him. But he couldn't say anything, and he didn't no why. Wait...was he _scared? _

_Pffft. Scared? Scared of Deidara? _

Even to himself, Sasori sounded fake. And in denial. And certainly...there was something about Deidara that was different. Sasori forced himself not to be ignorant: Deidara definitely had earned some credit for being able to control three Akatsuki members at some point, to some extent. Yes, Itachi now hated Deidara for using him, but he had believed Deidara and trusted him. Deidara hadn't even spelt it all out for Itachi, but Itachi had executed exactly what Deidara wanted him to. And that was the worst: when your reactions were predictable and someone could use you as their pawn. Second, Sasori himself. _Deidara..._had actually made Sasori believe that he was ready for consensual sex, that he had finally come to truths with himself and wanted to fuck Sasori. Or be fucked. Whatever- sex was an irresistable thing. Lust...lust was one of the seven deadly sins. Lechery. Sasori glanced at Deidara, who was standing there, biting his nails, his eyes skipping all over Sasori's dark, dank room. Definitely a deadly sin. It had certainly been deadly for _him, _Sasori.

And third: Hidan. Hidan wasn't exactly the most desirable male, whether in the Akatsuki for his brash skills or even in bed, but he was still practically invincible. It was an ability Sasori had to confess was enviable, if anything. It was the only thing spectacular about Hidan. Sasori himself had to spend copious amounts of time preparing his puppet's defences and Hidan needed pretty much zero of that.

"So," Deidara said. "Are you going to say anything, or what?"

Sasori eyed him in annoyance. Since when did he get so...so...powerful? This thought was obviously displayed on his charred features, because Deidara let out a derisive snort.

"A genius doesn't only need IQ, Sasori," he explained. He ran his tongue across his upper lip. _The brat is doing that on purpose, _Sasori growled in his head. It had been Sasori's favourite move, to pull Deidara's upper lip between his two own and suck it hard. "You also need EQ,"

And with that, he left.


	11. Chapter 11

Deidara went back to his room and smashed his fist against his desk. He barely noticed the pain that soared through his forearm. Even if Sasori was now dead, it still annoyed him greatly that the redhead was the reason he could no longer use Itachi to do the deed. _If only there was some way to just get rid of him…completely._

He withdrew his fist and shook it, still oblivious to the redness that now spread across his knuckles. He was grinning now, because Sasori had looked positively at a loss back there. Deidara had won. _But I can win more, _he thought.

And Deidara didn't know it, but Sasori had been correct about one thing: that something inside Deidara had changed, and was now on its way to consume him. When one experienced hard times—and Deidara had had no shortage of _those_, what with the intrusion of Akatsuki into his life at a tender age, _and _Sasori's sexual games—they came back hardened, tougher, more resilient. Usually it was a good thing, because it meant that you were better prepared for future hard events, but for Deidara, it meant he was morphing into something…_wrong. _

Deidara nudged off his shoes and threw himself back on his bed, sighing, his arms outspread. He arched his back a little and felt a comforting _crack. _It was odd, but he felt happy knowing that now he had another assignment. Other than to seduce the crap out of Hidan of course.

_No loss, no loss, _he thought. It was only Hidan who was losing. His resistance was admirable, yet ultimately futile, because Deidara was one hundred percent certain that the Jashinist will keel.

* * *

Itachi stood there silently, processing the conversation he had just overheard. He had originally planned to step out when Deidara's distinct blonde hair swished into sight. Itachi had listened to his footsteps. He heard them pause outside Sasori's room, which no one had bothered to clear out yet, even though it still stunk of ashes. Kisame had had the courtesy to give it a little bit of a wash, because the flecks of ash had been floating around the room for days and was starting to infest the rest of the Lair. Itachi wondered for a moment if it seemed disrespectful, but then he realized Sasori probably didn't care much, considering he was—

"Itachi Uchiha," someone hissed. "I know you're there,"

_Of course I'm here, _Itachi thought. _It's my room. _But he walked out anyway and, without turning his head, looked sideways down the hall. Sasori's semi-transparent ghost was actually frightening in the gloom. If Itachi wasn't Itachi, he would have turned and run away. Recoil at least. But he had been the one brought along Sasori's death, and ironically it made him more resistant to Sasori's …remnants. The redhead's right cheek was hollow, and he looked broken, just like one of his own puppets. Itachi felt an ounce of regret, and even felt a little bit guilty. But then he recalled that there was actually some truth to Deidara's story, even though the second time round it wasn't actually rape.

Sasori stared at him. If looks could kill, Itachi might've been permanently crippled in many places. There was a definite crackle of hatred in the dusky air between the two, but Sasori was the sole generator. Itachi was looking back expressionlessly, not oblivious to the charge in the air. He was undeterred, but he wasn't stupid. The two allowed silence to seep in. Then Sasori spoke up.

"I know you heard he and I talking,"

Even in death, he sounded imposing. He was unable to do anything, touch anything in the physical world, but there was a steely firmness in his voice. Itachi had noticed it when he was talking to Deidara…and he'd also noticed that it dropped significantly as the conversation proceeded.

"So what do you think of your little, innocent brat now?" Sasori went on, obviously trying to sound calm. Itachi said nothing again. The story of Deidara exploiting his skills and power had allowed Kisame to make a few quips when Itachi least expected it, and it _had _annoyed him to some extent, but he offered no reaction. Even Zetsu and Pein had said something at some point. Black Zetsu of course had wasted no time to comment on Itachi's sudden gullibility. Even Kakuzu said nothing, probably out of respect for the Uchiha. So…what _did _he think of Deidara? Did he hate him? Or did he just not care? After all, he had little remorse for killing to begin with. Why should Sasori be any different?

"He sounds different," Itachi said, changing the direction of the conversation. Sasori had been attacking Itachi before, basically telling him what an idiot he was for falling for Deidara's act, but now Itachi was trying to bring Sasori to agreements with him. Kind of like a truce.

Sasori's eyes relaxed. "I suppose," he said, easing back to his usual doleful stupor. He didn't want to admit that he felt threatened and even jealous of the sudden growth in Deidara, so he said no more.

Itachi waited a moment, thinking to himself.

"I should not have killed you,"

Sasori snorted.

"Not for the reason that you were innocent," Itachi said. "For sure, you were guilty of something. If it was not for that, Deidara would never have cooked this up,"

Sasori's gaze intensified again. His eye socket had sunk a bit, and he looked horrifying to the normal person.

"But for the reason that he is now someone he should not be," Itachi continued. He didn't know what he was saying. He sounded like he—

"You care about his wellbeing?" Sasori spat. "He is no relation of yours. You've grown soft, Itachi,"

Itachi's eyelids lowered. "Perhaps I have,"

Sasori was slightly surprised by this show of vulnerability, but he continued.

"I admit," he said, the acid in his voice ebbing away. "That he is becoming somewhat of a threat,"

"Is this not what Akatsuki is about? Perhaps we can use this new emergence of power to our advantage,"

"Pein will not allow such petty techniques,"

"Then what do you propose?" Itachi asked, unsure of what his answer was going to be. Sasori sniffed haughtily and gave Itachi the same looks he gave Deidara so often when he thought the Iwa nin was asking a dumb question.

"We have to stop him... of course,"


	12. Chapter 12

"What are you talking about?"

"What _can_ I be talking about?" Sasori countered calmly. "I said you grew soft, Itachi. Shall I amend my statement and call you a fool as well?"

The lines below Itachi's eyes seemed to increase in their severity.

"I am not going to kill another Akatsuki member," Itachi said first up. In actuality, he was unsure of whether or not Sasori was planning the wrong type of revenge. And he, Itachi, knew he was being stupid. _Since when did I become so second-rate? _Even if Sasori had the most outrageous of intentions, the possibility that they went ahead all fell to Itachi. Sasori couldn't do anything but keep an eye and ear out without getting hurt. Itachi grit his teeth, grateful for the tall Akatsuki coat collar that covered his mouth. He didn't want to show his inner frustration at being so un-Itachi.

Sasori blinked.

"If killing is not on your agenda, then I am afraid our partnership won't work,"

"There are other ways,"

"…,"

Then Sasori disappeared. Just like that. To a witness, Itachi would have looked like he'd just been talking to no one. He scanned the hallway for movement and registered none.

* * *

Deidara shifted a little in his bed. He didn't realize it—he was asleep, after all—but his left hand was closed tightly, almost desperately around a bit of his mattress cover. He was sleeping on his stomach, with his hand turned to the side. His brow was furrowed with dread.

"_Why don't you want to give it to me?" Sasori says with a laugh. The laughter rings through the Lair, but no one else is here. There is no one here to save me. I turn to run. I feel his hand on my shoulder and he pulls me back. I feel his tongue flick against my ear. My skin crawls and my temples are damp with sweat. _

"_Come here, Deidara," he whispers. His left hand creeps around my waist, his fingers inching forward like a spider slinking behind its unsuspecting prey. He reaches my belly and he suddenly presses me back against him. The tips of his fingers just graze the buttoned flap where my Akatsuki coat closes and opens. _

"_Come on, danna," I urge, clearly grasping at straws. I put a hand on top of his, the one that is resting on my stomach in that not-too-firm, not-too-subtle way he uses when he's trying to seduce me without giving himself in to me completely. I gulp. The silence, for once, is dreadful. I would have been grateful for this silence—without Kisame swinging Samehada around and demolishing parts of his room, without Hidan chanting incoherently and loudly in a language that was foreign, without the clack of Sasori's puppets—but right at this moment, I wanted nothing more than all of those noises at once. I knew it was a desire that would never be met. Not now._

"_We have a mission to attend to,"_

_Sasori exhales in my ear. The pressure of his palm increases. I feel the blood pumping through his hand. No…that has to be my imagination. Master Sasori is a puppet. He is a human puppet. He does not have—_

"_The mission can wait," _

_His hand slips between the folds of my coat. I try to wriggle out of his hold, but for some reason I cannot begin to fathom, I cannot. Sasori was not physically strong—why—?_

_Sasori seems to sense my struggle and even though I cannot see him (for if I turned my face our lips will touch), I can tell he is smirking. _

"_Let go…danna…,"_

"_You want this," Sasori says, his hand now on my bare stomach. He had pushed my netted shirt up and was now sending shivers all over my body. I cast my eyes downwards. The sight repulses me…yet…_

_I am young. Maybe too young to understand—except to understand that this, what Sasori is doing, is wrong. But the Akatsuki…are we not wrongdoers already? I, after all, delighted in large-scale explosions. I am so confused. Sasori's hand slides upwards and he fingers the large, stitched mouth upon my chest. I stand frozen. Then he says: "Let's go back to my room...brat," _

_His hand leaves my body and I turn around. He is standing there. I am almost up to his height. As I tilt my head slightly to look at him, I notice for the umpteenth time that he has the most hypnotizing eyes. The way he looks at me, I cannot help but want to see him look at me forever like that. Even though I know that it scares me, I follow him to his room. _

Deidara sat up in bed, panting heavily. What the _fuck _was that? He looked down at his left hand, the one grasping at the bed sheet. The sight widens his eyes and he lets go like it suddenly grew legs and started talking. His blonde hair was matted to his face and the back of his neck.

_What…what was that? _He thought again. He swallowed hard. _Just a dream, Deidara. Just. A. Dream. _He was about to bite his nails but then realized there was not much to bite anymore. He looked down at his chipped nail polish. _Gross. _Catching his breath and composure, he slid of his bed and glanced at the wall. The candles there flickered unpromisingly. The glow-in-the-dark, digital bedside clock beeped 2:33 am. Deidara looked nervously outside his room. It could have been pitch black if it wasn't for the few torches alight every two rooms down. He stepped forwards slowly and looked cautiously outside. The torches created unwanted and chilling shadows along the hall, and the bumpy roughness of the stone that the Lair was carved from did nothing but emphasize that. Deidara felt like he was fourteen again, when he was first inducted into the Akatsuki and he had childishly found the hallway "scary". _Why, out of all things, was I scared of the dark? _He scoffed inwardly at his own cowardice, not daring to make a sound. He wondered if Kakuzu was awake. They all knew Kakuzu never slept, and if he did, it was only for a few hours. Deidara wished he was. At least it meant he would not be alone if Sasori decided this was another prime time to visit him. He took one step into the hall. It was a soft step, but in the silence of the place, its sound was magnified. His ears moved a bit, straining, wishing to hear a noise that reassured him that someone was awake…or at least sleeping lightly.

He took a deep breath and walked quickly. Passed Kisame's, Zetsu's (who wasn't there half the time anyway), Itachi's…Kakuzu. Deidara slowed down. The light coming from Kakuzu's were dim, but he knew the man had a small extension somewhere else, just like they all did. He peered in, trying not to look furtive. The room emanating from that room was bright. Deidara saw a shadow, and wasn't sure if it was Kakuzu's. He walked past the room completely and turned to look over his shoulder. Kakuzu's bed was made. He was nowhere to be seen. Deidara let out a slow sigh of relief. _Good. _

He went out to the kitchen, which was still brightly lit, something the Iwa nin was grateful for. He eyed the potted plant in the corner, the only other sign of life besides him in the area. Then he opened the fridge, not intending to get anything. Opening the refrigerator, Deidara was suddenly hit with a wave of nausea. He put a hand to his temple and shook his head. _What is wrong with me tonight? _

He was about to close the refrigerator and go take a seat when something caught his eye for the second time that night. A blue box.

Deidara's eyes widened as he reached for it. He took it out. It was perfectly sealed, as if it had never been opened. He tore it open. Inside were neatly packed Popsicles. Deidara dropped the box with a _thump. _

Sasori watched him from afar.

_I may be dead, brat. _He thought with an odd mixture of satisfaction and displeasure. _But I am everywhere. _

_

* * *

_

**Author's Note: If you're a reader of my other fic **_**An Akatsuki Valentine's, **_**you'll know that I made Sasori a fan of Popsicles. Why? I don't know. I just thought it would be a cute quirk. **


	13. Chapter 13

After a moment of shock, Deidara bent down and scrabbled to put the askew Popsicles back into the box. A surge of paranoia pulsed through his body, purging the memory of his audacious performance with Sasori's ghost earlier that night. He shook the box so that all the Popsicles would fit and closed the lid, plunking the box on the counter behind him nervously.

"Deidara?"

Deidara jumped a bit and looked up from the counter surface. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Kakuzu's familiar face. Kakuzu's eyes narrowed at Deidara's jumpiness, but didn't comment. Instead he glided over to the open refrigerator, eyeing the Popsicle box. He withdrew the first white container and placed it on the counter, with one hand resting on the lid.

"That was Sasori's, was it not?" he said, feeling strangely grateful there was someone to talk to at this hour. He was tiring of hearing his own, talking in his head, as he tried to test new ways to clean his bounty heads and drain them of blood before handing them in. It was probably unnecessary, considering the guys who paid him were scared of him anyway, but Kakuzu always preferred a clean, _professional _job. He wasn't one to pop into the bounty office and slap a head on the table with its severed ligaments dripping blood.

Deidara nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He gulped again and looked around the room. Sasori was nowhere to be seen…but…

Sensing Deidara's uneasiness, Kakuzu said: "Dispose of those. No one will want them anymore, and I wouldn't like them taking up my space,"

_I never thought I'd take pleasure in Kakuzu's presence, _Deidara thought. He licked his lips and tasted their dry saltiness. He smiled briefly, fakely. "I'll throw them away later,"

"Don't tell me you want some," Kakuzu said. "Although…I wouldn't say it did not suit you,"

Kakuzu wasn't the only one who thought Deidara was a mere boy, even though he was almost eighteen, the others still treated him like he was getting potty-trained by Pein. Kakuzu especially. Probably because he was so damn old.

"It has been rather eventful in the Akatsuki Lair of late," Kakuzu ventured. "You…Sasori. Itachi and you. Sasori and Hidan," Kakuzu sniffed in disapproval. "Hidan. Never would have thought it. That someone as sadistic as him could have been controlled by someone as mere as Sasori,"

He stopped, thinking that he had spoken too much. Deidara nodded, but it wasn't in agreement. He decided to continue.

"Even I could not shut him up for long,"

Deidara smiled. "I know. I've seen you,"

The Iwa nin tapped the white container Kakuzu had taken out.

"How much is he worth?"

Kakuzu thought for a moment. "More than I think he is actually worth," he said. He gave Deidara one last look before grasping the handles of the container and headed back to his room.

Deidara watched Kakuzu leave with some remorse. Maybe he should have stalled the conversation so that he wouldn't be alone again. It was early yet, and no one else would be up until maybe five. Deidara wondered if he should leave the place and go find someplace lively, but he didn't feel like fighting should he be caught by some sort of official. He fiddled nervously with a damp corner of the Popsicle box.

_Get a grip, Deidara. _

He looked at the box and walked over to the bin. He stepped down on the button and the bin lid sprung open. He gave it one last look before he disposed of it. Then he walked outside. The chirping of crickets—_so _typical—hit his ears as soon as he went out. There was a soft night breeze that rustled the trees and the moon was half full, hidden partially by treetops. Deidara decided to head for the spring he knew was nearby. But as he neared it, he knew something was up. His eyes narrowed and he peered through the bushes. The miniature waterfall that was the source of water for the spring made reassuring, peaceful trickling noises as it sloshed into the clear spring. The moonlight only glimmered off the surface. Deidara sensed a movement.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck no. _

Deidara took a step back. A leaf crunched. There was a sickening thud in his stomach. It _could not _be Sasori. He didn't want it to be Sasori—even though he'd practically spat in the ghost's face, feeling all-powerful, that _fucking _Popsicle box brought Sasori back to life, as stupid as it seemed, and made Deidara feel strangely threatened again…and not to mention that dream. It had felt so real, but Deidara knew it was just a figment of his imagin—

_Swoosh!_

Deidara darted back just in time as the kunai whistled past him and embedded itself into the bark of a tree behind him. Deidara dug around in his pockets for something to use—anything—and couldn't get any. He swore under his breath and leapt onto the tree branch, hoping to use the higher ground to his advantage. He was, after all, a long-range type of guy. He glanced momentarily back in the direction of the Lair which, of course, was disguised and impregnable to anyone who wasn't an Akatsuki member. Deidara certainly didn't want to lead the person back there. _But…I need something to work with. _

There was no movement below. Deidara's head pounded.

_Why isn't he making his move? _

He bit his lip. The breeze picked up and ruffled through his hair.

_Maybe it was just a trap. _He thought. _Maybe it wasn't a person, just a safety measure. _

He dropped carefully down onto the grass again, only to be hit by an uppercut. The speed of it—it was lightning. Deidara flew back a few distance before he got his bearings together, kicked off a rocky growth near a tree and stead himself on his feet, his knees bent. There was the tang and stench of blood in his mouth.

_What is wrong with me? _His mind screamed. Normally, he would definitely have caught it. He saw the outline of his enemy.

_Definitely not a trap. _

Deidara forced himself to concentrate. He performed the Shadow Clone Jutsu—lame, he knew—to buy himself some time. But a few seconds was enough. He and his clones darted away. Deidara raced towards the spring. He heard the puffs as his clones were destroyed almost effortlessly. His offender was drawing closer—and fast. Deidara's eyes scanned the outline of the spring quickly. He found a suitable wet-ish area and dipped both of his hands into it. They came away slightly _too _wet, but it had to do. Deidara shoveled the substances into his pocket, not caring as it soaked into the material. He expertly twisted a perfect ball-like lump from the pile of pseudo-clay and stuffed it viciously into his right hand. It began chewing instantly, almost before the clay was fully inside it. Deidara glanced around him. He had to stand and fight. No matter how much he hated it, and how much he knew he was going to, well, _lose. _

_It shouldn't take that long, _Deidara thought. He ran up the side of the small cliff-face from which the waterfall fell from and stood his ground.

"You're not very good at this,"

An expression of shock raced across Deidara's features, only to be replaced by contemptuous wariness.

Sasuke Uchiha emerged from the shadow. He didn't seem to be looking directly at Deidara, but at the air above his head. Deidara's hand continued to chew. What the _fuck _was Itachi's brother doing here? And—

His hand decreased its pace of chewing. _No! Way too fast! _

Deidara had been putting all his hopes that the clay would work. He wrenched the stuff from his hand. It was a messy, lopsided spider. Sasuke darted up towards him, ready to throw another punch. Something glistened in his hand. It was the kunai. Deidara pitched the spider forward and quickly performed a series of hand signs. The spider exploded with a satisfying _BOOM. _It was without a doubt weaker than Deidara's usual spiders, but it was all Deidara needed. He quickly stuffed a larger lump in both his hands. The air was permeated with clay-coloured dust. Then Sasuke's hand came through and sliced Deidara's throat—just missing that vital spot. Deidara's hand flew up to his new, luckily shallow gash and backed off. Sasuke Uchiha was standing a bit further away now, his vision clearly impaired slightly—but only very temporarily—by the explosion. Deidara coughed. The battle was so low-key, Deidara wondered if Sasuke was even putting in any effort. Deidara himself was trying his best, but only because he had close to nothing to work with but a substance that was a bit too muddish and sloppy to be actual clay. The blood trickled from his cut and through his fingers, some of it seeping into his mouth there. It was considered a minor wound to Deidara, but certainly a nuisance. The Iwa nin was about to fight back again when Sasori suddenly flew into his mind. _Why does everything fucked up have to happen to me in one day!_

His hand left his throat and grasped the side of his head. Where did all that bravado go? That thing he'd felt…when he was speaking to Sasori's ghost?

_I'd sure use that _now.

Flashes of his nightmare flickered through his mind vividly. Deidara's eyesight became fuzzy. He almost seemed to forget that Sasuke was there, and could kill him at any point. His eyes rolled back and he fell backwards. His last thoughts were of whether or not he was fainting because of the sudden loss of blood, or because of Sasori.

_Whump._

Sasuke Uchiha eyed the guy in front of him suspiciously. He was bleeding all over the stone, from the cut he'd made. And he'd also seen what the guy had gone through earlier before he went unconscious. As clichéd as Sasuke knew it sounded—it looked like he'd seen a ghost.

Sasuke considered finishing him off. He was, after all, a member of Akatsuki and therefore a threat. Not much of a threat, judging by his performance tonight, but then again, he'd seen him root around in his coat and finding nothing. He had actually been weapon-free. He'd improvised.

The younger Uchiha walked over to the guy's splayed body. He stood over him, throwing his elongated shadow over him. He usheathed his katana and gave it a swish. Then he brought it down.


	14. Chapter 14

_Crack! _

Sasuke looked up just in time. A weapon—what the hell was that anyway?—trailed by a rope glanced off Sasuke's katana. It made the Uchiha lose his group momentarily and forced him to step back from the blonde guy's body. He looked back at the weapon he'd just been attacked with. It was a triple-bladed scythe. Its evil, sharp blades reflected the moonlight. Sasuke saw the guy from afar. He had slicked-back silvery hair tucked behind his ears. He wasn't wearing a shirt, and Sasuke could see a necklace.

_A Jashinist? _He thought curiously.

Hidan followed the rope calmly until he was standing in front of Sasuke and over Deidara's body. He was damn worried about Deidara, but he had to get rid of Sasuke first.

_Fuck. _He thought, watching the blood from Deidara's wound continue to trickle, colouring the rocks crimson. As macho as he liked to think he was, Hidan knew that if he pit himself against Sasuke, he would lose. _He looks just like Itachi. _

Sasuke watched the newcomer carefully. He was much more alert than the blonde one, but…was he Akatsuki? In the end, Sasuke decided he didn't care. He would—

Sasuke's head turned suddenly. He looked cautiously into the shadows. Surely, it wasn't, but if the blonde man was Akatsuki then _he _couldn't have been far—

Itachi stepped out and looked up. The breeze ruffled his hair dramatically as the moonlight spilled onto his features. Sasuke's mouth formed a thin, stressed line and his grip around the katana tightened considerably, the joints in his fingers whitening.

_Itachi, dammit. _

Itachi leapt up to where they stood. Everyone stood still for a moment. Then the rope suspended off Hidan's scythe went taut and the Jashinist dragged the scythe towards him: it sliced through the rocky ground quickly and loudly and then went into the air as Hidan twisted the rope around his forearm. He caught the weapon and held it carefully.

"Leave, Hidan," Itachi said without looking at him. He, however, eyed Deidara disapprovingly. After he and Sasori's talk, his dislike for him had grown…however…something in his mind tugged not too long ago and woke him up. At first, he didn't know what it was, but then he realized he got this feeling whenever Sasuke was nearby. He was putting his coat on when he heard a loud _clang _and peered out the hallway just in time to see Hidan half-drag his scythe out of the Lair. Itachi had followed him and...here they were.

Initially, Hidan was rooted to the spot. Then Itachi turned around to glare at him and he practically leapt into action. He scooped Deidara's limp body up—surprised at how freaking light it was—and stood up again. The blood has lessened, but the gash was still spewing blood. They made a sick trickling sound as it dripped onto the rock. Even Hidan, who stabbed himself as a hobby, was slightly repulsed.

_Maybe because it's Deidara, _he thought worriedly. _Yeah…that's probably it. _

He gave the two Uchiha one last look before slinging his scythe over his shoulder by aid of his rope and headed quickly back to the Lair, wondering what Kakuzu would think him of him if he saw him, but knowing that he _needed _to face him, to get Deidara's neck stitched up before he died of blood loss.

_Careful, small stitches Kakuzu. _

"What are you doing here?"

Sasuke felt the urge to just attack Itachi and ignore his question, but there was some external force that made him immobile. He wondered in frustration if it was Itachi who was making him feel that way. It could have been his own nerves, but Sasuke would have died before admitting to the latter.

"I could ask you the same question, Itachi,"

Itachi glanced at the blood pool Deidara had created.

Sasuke's jutted his chin forward in the direction Hidan had left with Deidara.

"You came because of those two?"

Itachi's answer came slowly. "No, Sasuke. I came because of you,"

A knife suddenly gleamed in Itachi's hand, mostly obscured by the long sleeve of his black Akatsuki coat, but Sasuke could sense it.

Itachi charged.

* * *

Hidan laid Deidara down as un-carefully as he dared on the metal table. He had to, because Kakuzu was watching him in that hawkish way which suggested he knew something was up but wasn't going to ask. Instead, he was going to allow Hidan the displeasure of wallowing in the uncomfortable atmosphere he, Kakuzu, emanated. It made Hidan fidget.

As Kakuzu's threads slithered from within his cloak and needled through Deidara's skin delicately, Hidan had slid his hands inside his coat and he was twisting the ring he had on his left index finger. He knew Kakuzu could probably tell he was nervous, but he still didn't want to display it openly.

As Kakuzu thread, he asked "What happened?" in his deep, growl of a voice. The question was obviously directed at Hidan, but his eyes never left Deidara's wound.

Hidan paused before answering. "Well…Itachi's brat brother decided to pay us a visit and Deidara just got caught in the crossfire,"

"Sasuke?" Kakuzu's voice went higher in interest. He was obviously much more concerned about this aspect, and not the Deidara-almost-got-killed aspect.

_That's because he's yours to worry about, _Hidan's conscience chuckled.

"Yeah, him. Itachi's out there now,"

"So I heard," Kakuzu said. He meant it literally. After the ruckus Hidan had caused with his stupid scythe, Kakuzu had walked out of his working room just in time to see Itachi Uchiha slither out of his room and glide past Kakuzu's.

"Hmmm. And Deidara could not stand up against him. Pitiful,"

The irritation at hearing Kakuzu badmouth Deidara unfurled in Hidan's stomach. He grew hot-headed, just like he always did.

"He had nothing, man!" he said brashly. "Check him out—he's got none of that…that clay stuff he's always eating,"

Kakuzu scoffed beneath his mask. The last thread wove itself into Deidara's neck. Kakuzu withdrew his arm and finally looked at Hidan.

"You can take your pet back to his room now," was all he said.

"Wait—aren't you going to clean his wound?" Hidan gestured meaningfully at Deidara's neck, chin and collarbone area. The blood there made the wound look ten times worse than it really was. Kakuzu seemed offended.

"I'm not a nurse, Hidan," he said shortly. Then he retreated to his work room and Hidan knew the conversation was over, and never to be dug up again. Hidan sighed and picked Deidara up again with extreme ease. He carried him outside and wondered for a moment whether to bring the blonde back to his own room, as dark and bloody as it already was. He really wanted to. But Deidara's room was obviously the better place, because then he wouldn't have to carry him all over the place, and maybe…maybe he could change him into new clothes.

_God, I sound like his goddamn mother. _

He walked into Deidara's room and laid the Iwa nin on the bed softly. He knew Deidara seldom used lights because of the so-called "ambience" candle flames gave off, but there _had _to be a light somewhere. Hidan's eyes scanned the ceiling as he felt around the wall for a switch. He found it and turned it on. It flashed a few times before it turned on completely. A harsh white, surgery-like light filled the room. Hidan quickly checked if Deidara was stirring, but he wasn't. Hidan nudged the door closed with his foot, and it gave a reassuring _click _as it slid into place.

_If only there was some way to make it dimmer._

Hidan walked over to Deidara. Some of the blood had even soaked into his long blond hair. Hidan rubbed the crustiness it had formed when he inspected the affected strands. He looked around the room and got up. He grabbed a small tub from the bathroom and filled it with tepid water. He came back to the main part of Deidara's room only to see Sasori floating there, staring down at Deidara with a look like death in his eyes.


	15. Chapter 15

"He could have died tonight," Sasori said softly, menacingly. If looks could kill, Deidara would have died. Twice. The puppeteer turned his head to look at Hidan. "If it wasn't for _you_,"

"Ah, _nooooo_," Hidan protested, walking forward with the tub and setting it down on the table. "If I didn't do anything, Itachi definitely would've,"

Sasori said nothing for a beat.

"You and Itachi are both the same," he sneered. "You've both grown weak. And for what? For this brat of a blonde who wouldn't give two of his own hairs to save either of your lives,"

"How do the fuck do you know that?" Hidan countered, even though he knew Sasori was most probably right. But his reaction was natural, seeing as he had a deep crush on Deidara and always felt helpless around him like some baby. It would feel somehow wrong to agree that Deidara was a heartless son of a bitch.

Sasori snorted.

"You and I both know the answer to that. I was his partner, and he had me _killed _like a common enemy. What makes you think he won't do the same to you?"

_Because I treat him nicer? _

"He _will_," Sasori's gaze intensified. Hidan felt foolish for a moment, like Sasori was his mum and he was scolding Hidan. He looked back down at Deidara's unconscious state. "So why are helping him wash up? When you know he won't ever return the favour,"

"Sasori, he's not as bad as you think," Hidan replied, sounding serious. But Sasori just laughed.

"He's a jerk. Trust me, Hidan. He went into this situation a jerk, and he's gonna wake up a jerk,"

Hidan would have punched him if he could. But Sasori was a ghost.

"And don't you dare help him like this," Sasoria added. "You and I, after all, have some history. Help him," he nodded at Deidara. "And rest assured, you will never talk to me again,"

And with that, he vanished.

_God-fucking-dammit. _Hidan looked helplessly at the spot Sasori had just occupied, then at Deidara, then at his tub of water. Even though it looked like a simple situation, he felt like a mess. He now felt inclined to listen to Sasori…because, after all, the guy _was _murdered and accused of something he didn't actually do at the time, and he and Sasori did…

Hidan shook his head. "Arghhh," he said aloud. He looked at Deidara. _But how would _he _feel if he wakes up and…_

_You know, he probably won't notice. _Hidan bit his lip, which went white. _But…_

Hidan walked over to the blonde nin and bent over him. _Would it kill Sasori if I just…_

He ran his fingers lightly over Kakuzu's fine stitches. The wound was completely closed up now, but there was still some fresh blood getting out. Hidan looked around the room for a bandage. In the end, he took off the wide piece of white fabric he used as a belt around his pants and wrapped it around Deidara's neck carefully, supporting the Iwa nin's head with one hand. After making sure the bandage was neat and firmly wrapped, Hidan sat silently with half his butt on Deidara's bed.

_Sorry, Deidara _he said to himself. And for the first time in a long time, Hidan felt truly sad.

He left the room.

Deidara's eyes fluttered.

* * *

"Itachi,"

Itachi walked into the Lair, looking like he'd just walked out of a spa, not out of a fight. Kisame raised an eyebrow.

"Did you kill him _this time_?" he asked, putting a strong emphasis on the last two words. Itachi thought he couldn't tell, but Kisame totally knew that Itachi stalled every time he had the opportunity to kill his little brother.

Itachi looked at him but didn't say anything. He put a knife on the island in the kitchen. It had been wiped clean, but it previously had blood on it.

"_Dude_," Hidan said, looking up from his sandwich. "That's _my _knife,"

"Eat your sandwich," Kakuzu growled. Hidan shrugged and turned back to his breakfast. Itachi had fought Sasuke for long enough to feed his younger brother's avid need for, well, a fight, but the most important thing on Itachi's mind at the moment was…

_Deidara. _

Itachi pushed the name from his mind. This was just wrong. He poured himself a cup of milk and walked inside, trying to act nonchalant when his stomach was actually feeling pretty heavy and downtrodden. He'd let Deidara do it to him again.

"You have a younger brother," Deidara had once said. "Why don't you try looking after _him _instead?"

Honestly, Itachi still didn't know the answer to that question. He still felt more protective of Deidara than his own brother, someone whom he shared parents with, someone who had come from the same flesh and blood…

Itachi was grateful he didn't have to walk past Deidara's room to be in his own. He sat down in his chair and let his messy thoughts run amok.

_What is it that makes me succumb so easily to him? Do I like him? _

Itachi's grip around the glass of milk tightened.

_No, that's not it. I don't…feel _that _way…but…_

"Hey,"

Itachi was snapped out of his thoughts. Standing in his doorway was none other than Hidan.

"Just wanted to let you know, he's alright,"

Itachi nodded slowly. If someone had to understand how Itachi felt, it was probably Hidan, albeit in a different way. Hidan so obviously liked Deidara, but Itachi just felt…protective.

"Why'd you do it?"

Itachi looked from his milk to Hidan. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Hidan cleared his throat. "He… y'know…Sasori,"

Itachi smiled a little. "I don't know Hidan. I don't know,"

Hidan nodded as if he understood completely. He probably did.

"Sasori told me not to help Deidara clean up," Hidan continued. "Um…do you mind?"

Itachi looked at Hidan in disbelief. "You listened?"

"W-well," Hidan scratched the back of his head in frustration. "I had to. I just felt obliged to. And—,"

_And you look so awkward I want to throw up _Itachi thought. He got up and handed his empty milk glass to Hidan, who took it obediently.

_Fuck you, wash your own glass, _the old Hidan would definitely have said. The two exchanged a meaningful glance before Itachi headed towards Deidara's room, wondering if Sasori would, too, pay him a visit… and also why he did what he did whenever it came to Deidara.


	16. Chapter 16

_For some reason, Sasori's room seems darker than usual, and the pallor of his skin seems to be intensified. It gives him an eerie glow, as he sits next to me. I notice that his breathing has increased considerably since we came in, but overall, like always, he maintains his cool composure. He leaves my Akatsuki coat half unbuttoned and pushes the top half down, so that it all rolls around my waist. I shiver involuntarily. It's cold, but not _that _cold, yet the temperature seems to have plummeted thirteen degrees. Sasori brushes some of my hair aside, and as he leans forward I put out a hand to stop him._

"_Danna," I say. My God, I was so naïve and stupid, at fourteen years old. My partner does not reply, but his grip around my shoulder tightens momentarily. There is still nothing in his eyes, nothing that gives away whether or not he feels guilty or wicked about he is doing. He, like always, is just looking at the situation on its face value. Him and me, on his bed. Nothing more, nothing less. Well, it was soon to be more, that was for sure. _

_All of a sudden, he lets out a low growl and one of his arms wraps around my waist and the other holds down the hand that I reached out with. He yanks that hand above my head and, with that air of impatience that is not unlike Sasori, he presses his body down on mine and kisses the area he had brushed the hair aside from. I struggle a little, bending my knees in an effort to push him off. But nothing works. I feel speechless at what is happening._

_I glance at the door, willing Zetsu to just materialize there and confront Sasori. In this moment of weakness and helplessness, I miss black Zetsu's nasty remarks. I twist the hand that he's gripping, trying to wriggle out of his grasp. This makes him clamp a bit of my flesh between his teeth. I call out in pain. _

"_Stop struggling, brat," he spits into my ear. I look down. My Akatsuki coat has somehow rolled down to my knees. My whole body tingles with anticipation…anticipation for what? I use my other hand and try to pull the coat up again. Sasori seems to chuckle. He puts a warning hand on mine. _

"_Don't," he murmurs against my skin. "You look better this way," he leans back again so he can look me in the eye. "But you can still look even better," _

_I wonder with a funny feeling if this was how his human victims felt before he killed them and made them into puppets. I was sure that if it wasn't, it wasn't far off._

_And with that, he wrenched my shirt off my head. I squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to see it._

Deidara sat up in bed, panting. This sudden, fast movement sends stinging pain through his body, stemming from his wound. _Watch it! _It seems to whine. Deidara put a hand up to his neck, only to feel a wide piece of fabric wrapped firmly and neatly around it. It was definitely not a bandage. It felt like part of a shirt, a piece of apparel. Deidara felt the material for a few moments. It was thick, and no blood had reached its surface yet. Deidara sighed and looked at his hands, which had gone clammy and were shaking slightly. Again, the dream had seemed so vivid and real, but _they couldn't be true. They couldn't. _Deidara put his head in his hands, just as Itachi came through the door.

Deidara sensed the movement. He looked up, peeking through his fingers.

Itachi was frozen to the spot. As he neared the room, he'd heard some tossing and turning, something Hidan _hadn't _mentioned. He'd been worried for a bit, but that Deidara was awake, that worry had faded away.

"What do you want?" the blonde demanded, rudely. It was a defense mechanism, Itachi could tell. There were emotional notes to Deidara's voice, and Itachi could tell he probably had a bad dream more than anything. Deidara would never be this traumatized by the Sasuke encounter, not in a million years. Itachi himself had had many bad dreams over the course of his life…after all, who didn't? And he'd also woken up in a daze, caught up in the illusions and voices of the nightmare.

"Hidan told me to come and check on how you were,"

Deidara smiled a bit despite himself. "Ha. Tell him not to worry, yeah?,"

Itachi nodded.

Deidara slid out of his bed. His Akatsuki coat was damp. Recalling the clay, he reached into his pockets and dunked the shit onto his table, next to a tub of water. Itachi eyed them wordlessly. Then the Iwa nin slid off his coat and mashed it into a ball, going into his bathroom. He came out without it and pulled off his shirt. It was slightly damp with sweat.

Itachi tried not to watch, but he couldn't stop, because of that giant stitch on Deidara's chest. He wondered what it was, because it was huge.

"Are you gonna stand there and watch me piss too?"

Itachi's cheeks flushed. He coughed apologetically and left the room. Deidara sighed and pressed a hand against his forehead. It was pulsing with heat. He walked into his bathroom, appreciating the cool white tiles against his bare feet. He looked at himself in the mirror and then slowly unraveled the fabric. Whoever had bandaged him was very careful in their handiwork, because each layer overlapped the previous one in exactly the same amount each time. As he got closer to the wound, Deidara could see the blood. He had to peel the last layer of fabric because the fibers had stuck to the dried blood.

"Ugh," Deidara said out loud. He folded the fabric quickly and put it on top of his sink, inspecting the stitched-up wound. The dream he'd had had made such a huge impact he'd completely forgotten about the night before, and his random encounter with Sasuke Uchiha, during which he fainted. Embarrassingly. He wondered why he hadn't been killed, but then—wait, what did Itachi say?

"_Hidan told me to come and check on how you were,"_

_Did Hidan stop him? _Deidara thought. It was laughable, but probably true. But then, how had Hidan fought off Sasuke? Or did he talk him out of it? Deidara sighed. He felt a little ball of his old confidence returning as he thought about Hidan. The Jashinist had always paid him out when he was younger, and now _he _had the upper hand. The fact that Hidan was three years older than him just added to the bravado. Deidara gripped the edges of the sink. He _had _to forget about those goddamn dreams.

_I can't let dreams get in my way._

He opened the tap and wet a towel, then began patting his wound clean.

_You don't remember it, _Sasori thought, watching Deidara. The late puppeteer had taken a form of complete transparency…meaning, no one could see him. It was a form he took often. _But your dreams are actually a memory. _


	17. Chapter 17

"Knock, knock,"

Kakuzu got up from his chair with a creak.

"What is it?"

"Do you have a bandage?" Deidara held up the wide strip of fabric that was previously wrapped around his neck. Kakuzu eyed it suspiciously. That was definitely Hidan's. "This doesn't really suffice," the Iwa nin coughed. "I mean, it's probably more absorbent, but it doesn't really let my skin breath, you know?"

Kakuzu grunted and went back into his workroom. He opened a first-aid like box and extracted a roll of bandages. He would have given them to Hidan the night before, if the Jashinist had the brain to ask him more politely. "Take it,"

Deidara accepted it but stayed. Kakuzu's eyebrows raised beneath his mask. What _else _could he want?  
"Do you know whose this is?"

_Ah. _Kakuzu nodded. "It belongs to the only person that cares about you," he said simply, and his tone indicated that this conversation was over. Deidara nodded in understanding.

"Thanks, un,"

Deidara headed back down the hallway and felt the dream try and creep into his head again like a thick, suffocating mist skulking behind an unsuspecting traveler. He pushed it aside almost angrily.

_No, _he said firmly to himself. Come to think of it, the hallway still looked the same as it had in that dream—_but that dream wasn't _real, Deidara thought. He dug his fingernails into the fabric and almost collided into a giant pole which had found itself impaled through each end of Hidan's doorframe.

_What the? _

Deidara ducked his head under the pole and looked into the room. Hidan was busy. Very busy. Blood was spouting from a wound in his forearm, like some gruesome fountain. But Hidan didn't seem to notice. Beneath his feet was a large black circle with a triangle inside—the dignified emblem of Jashinism. Deidara watched on, because Hidan hadn't noticed his presence yet. Around the circumference of the circle, sharp objects—glass shards, fragmented knife blades, among others—glittered forebodingly in the candle light. Hidan, with his bare hands, twisted a single broken knife blade out of its socket in the earth. Deidara winced a little despite himself. Hidan's hand immediately started bleeding, running down his hand and dripping off the end of the knife.

_Doesn't he injure himself enough in battle? _Deidara thought in disgust.

Hidan brought the blade up and sliced it diagonally across an old wound. It peeled open easily. It wasn't even time for his monthly sacrifice, but Hidan had wanted something—anything—to keep himself distracted. He didn't want to think about Deidara sleeping and recovering in the other room, and he didn't want to think about what Sasori had said. Besides, Jashin would probably greatly appreciate the early tribute. Hidan could see a chunk of splitting tendons, which meant he was probably near his bones. Not that he couldn't feel it already.

He looked around the area in front of him. He spotted a spike-edged shard and reached over to pull it out.

Deidara didn't want to watch. He slung the fabric over the pole in the door and walked away. It looked like a white flag, the symbol of submission.

* * *

Despite the scene he had just walked in upon, Deidara walked jauntily. He kept feeling the stitches on his neck, just to feel their bumpiness. He was still wondering what had had happened last night.

"Deidara,"

The blonde turned. Itachi was sitting on the couch next to the plant, seemingly staring into air. Deidara recalled that there used to be a TV or something across from the couch, but apparently someone had broken it (no one wanted to admit who had done it) and since then no one could be bothered to have it replaced.

Itachi wasn't looking at him, even though he was talking to him. Then he turned his head slowly. "We need to talk,"

Deidara fingered the stitches curiously. "Right,"

_Aren't you gonna come closer? _Itachi thought. _…mmm…never mind then. _

"If you were wondering what happened last night," the older Uchiha began, regretting every word he was saying. He didn't exactly _owe _Deidara an explanation. But he'd look like a retard if he clammed up now. _Sasori, you're probably watching. _Wait—_heck, _since when was he caught between the two of them, ever? This was just ridiculous. "Hidan saved you first,"

"Mmmm," Deidara hummed, because he already knew. Wait…_'first'_? What did that mean?

"I came later," Itachi continued. He looked at Deidara. "Surely you didn't think Hidan could fight off my brother,"

Deidara shrugged.

"Guess not, eh,"

Itachi blinked a few times. There was that _thing _about Deidara again. That thing where the Iwa nin looked positively fearless, like he was unafraid of everything. But then again, Itachi did catch him in a moment of weakness, that bad dream he'd woken up from. Itachi marveled at Deidara's ability to change attitudes so quickly and so calmly too. After all, like his choice in weapons, Deidara was known to be explosive. Probably because he was still going through the hormonal ups and downs of being a teenager.

"If you're done, I'm gonna leave, danna,"

Something ticked in Itachi when the word _danna _slipped coolly, casually from Deidara's mouth. He looked at Deidara for an expression, an indication of why he had just called Itachi what he did. But he had turned away, with his hand still around his throat, massaging it.

_He's never called me that before. _

"Well, well, well,"

Itachi looked up. He was right. Sasori was nearby.

"Looks like he's found me a replacement,"

"Don't take it personally, Sasori,"

"I wasn't about to," Sasori sniffed, even though they both knew equally well he was.

"He can call any of us danna. I'm sure he respects us all,"

Sasori laughed. It sounded hollow, funnily enough.

"That brat," he stopped laughing and growled. "He probably has let it get to his head that he was able to overcome _me…_but even in death, I refuse to relent,"

The phrase _take it with you to the grave _obviously didn't apply to Sasori. Itachi's eyes softened a little empathetically. He, too, understood the meaning of keeping up a reputation. He was only unsure of whether or not he would, like Sasori, pursue the matter even in death. Itachi may hold grudges, but he knew when to stop.

"Sasori…,"

"Do not pity me," Sasori snapped. "Don't feed his ego. You're just helping him grow that confidence if you are," Sasori rejected the word _power _in lieu of _confidence. _He didn't want to come across as bitterly jealous of Deidara's sudden growth. From a young age, Sasori had always been ferociously competitive, and if Deidara had something marvelous that Sasori didn't well _he _wasn't going to put up with that.

"Where do you think this came from, Sasori?"  
"Hmph. Like I would know,"

"…," Itachi decided to change the subject.

"He's been having restless nights lately," the Uchiha looked at Sasori, ready to pitch the idea he'd been rolling around his head. "I think it's got something to do with you, don't you?"

Sasori smirked. Trust Itachi not to miss any details. It was, after all, the only thing he was capable of doing to get his revenge.

"Sasori…," Itachi said, his voice lower than usual. "What have you been doing?"

Sasori flicked a piece of ash from the back of his hand. It fluttered down to the ground and disappeared. "I simply unlocked a piece of memory Deidara had previously forgotten. And now he is welcoming this newfound memory in the form of dreams,"

"What memory?"

Sasori laughed again, this time shortly. "Why would I tell you?" his look intensified. "Why don't you ask him yourself? After all, I don't need to spoon-feed you like a baby brat. Deidara does that to you already, pulling you along on a leash," he accused. He turned his back to Itachi. "You'll like what you hear. I promise you, Itachi Uchiha,"


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Note: I'm giving a heads-up to all readers of my fanfics that I've started a deviantART account. The first artwork that I've uploaded refers to **_**An Akatsuki Valentine's, **_**but **_**Repression **_**artwork will surely come soon=) My deviantart account is under the same username (aminerklarinen). It'd be greatly appreciated if you can go check it out when you have time!**

Hidan pushed the fabric away from him. He had dumped it unceremoniously onto his desktop after he'd spotted it. _He must've come in while I was… _

Hidan looked down at his own wounds. He'd applied pressure to them a while ago to slow the bleeding, but that didn't seem to help much. He shuffled around his drawers for a roll of bandages. He sometimes had one or two in stock because he'd stolen them from Kakuzu's room when the guy wasn't looking, just so he didn't have to troop over to his room to get them. Clearly, today was not one of those days.

"Kakuzu!"

Hidan poked his head into his partner's room. "Do you have bandages? I need bandages,"

Kakuzu snorted. "Clearly," he brushed some hairs off his desk and put the head in the white box next to it. He didn't question—no, he refused to question—why Hidan had suddenly had the want to bandage himself up. It was unusual because Hidan normally didn't care and paraded around with his ripped muscles on show. "But I can't help you. Brat can,"

Hidan groaned inwardly. _Anyone _but him. Why did this seem to happening to him so many times this week?

_Fuck my life. Seriously. _

Hidan leaned backwards to peer into the dining room-slash-kitchen-slash-living room. Only Itachi was sitting there, doing nothing, _because that's totally fun, _Hidan thought meanly. He backed up and slowly, because he didn't exactly want to see Deidara, looked into Deidara's room.

Empty.

_What? Where is he? _

Hidan could only think of one more place he could be. Deidara and Sasori always worked together, no matter how disagreeable they seemingly were over their divided opinion about art. They had occupied the last available room after everyone had picked a bedroom and they occupied it well. It was like a rabbit warren of things Hidan deemed useless, but clearly not to the two artists. The door was closed. Hidan closed a hand around the knob, hesitant. Then the door opened, and Hidan was propelled forward. Deidara stood there, surprised. Hidan noticed his neck was bandaged.

There was a silence as the two soaked up each other's presence.

_That's right _Deidara thought arrogantly. _Come find me when I don't need you anymore, and when I need you, you're busy cutting yourself up._

_Fuck, _was all Hidan was thinking.

Deidara spoke first.

"What do you want?"

Hidan couldn't help but look behind him. Deidara seemed to have done a spot of cleaning, because the place looked as neat and tidy as ever. There were more of Sasori's puppets in here, looking more unfinished than broken.

"Um…w-well," Hidan stammered. _Shit. _If this was what it was like to have a crush, Hidan only wanted to ever have one. He held out both his forearms to Deidara. "I need the bandages, and Kakuzu said you have them,"

Deidara sniffed, as if to say _that's it_? He turned and took the roll from the table. As he placed them in Hidan's hand, Hidan's fingers closed around Deidara's.

Deidara furrowed his brow, but was slightly pleased. _That's _it, he thought, like he was training a dog to shake hands. A dog called Hidan.

Hidan didn't know what he just did. He couldn't let go, but he didn't want to hold on. He searched his brain for something to say.

"Can you do it for me?" he blurted stupidly.

Deidara's brow furrowed even more, making him look severe. "What?"

"Can you bandage my arms up for me?" Hidan repeated, growing more confident. Sasori had disallowed him from helping Deidara, but Deidara could help _him _right? After all, Hidan had been crestfallen when he saw Deidara had left his fabric there without a word and left. He wanted to make it up to himself.

Deidara sniffed. "Can't you do it yourself, hmm? Or are you too dim to even do that?"

Hidan ignored the jibe. Kakuzu and Kisame had given him worse, so it was really nothing.

"Please?" the Jashinist said. "At least once?"

Deidara smirked and pulled Hidan by their linked hands to a seat that was built into the wall. It was hard and rocky when Hidan sat down.

"Let go of my hand first," Deidara said, serious once more. Hidan reluctantly opened up his fingers, leaving Deidara's hand. A tongue whipped out from Deidara's hand and licked Hidan like a puppy. Even though he'd known Deidara for years, he still didn't know if Deidara directly controlled those mouths. Therefore, he didn't know if the lick had been intentional. If so, that was good. Or bad. Wait—_that would definitely be bad. _Hidan thought to himself. Deidara carefully unrolled the bandage and scanned the length of Hidan's arm, from his shoulder to his wrist. There were four wounds in all. Two stabs wounds, one that probably didn't need bandaging, and one very large gash.

"Don't you want Kakuzu to stitch you up first, un?"

"Huh? Oh, um," Hidan swallowed. "He doesn't let me ask him to do that when the wounds are self-imposed,"

At least _that _was true.

Deidara nodded, his lips slightly apart. He wondered if it was less time consuming if he just bandaged Hidan's whole arm, considering most of it was injured anyway, but he didn't want to waste all the bandages. Come to think of it…Hidan didn't ever use bandages.

Deidara wordlessly started from the top wound, which was just a stab. He eyed Hidan.

"Hold this down for me,"

Hidan held it down, their fingers brushing. Deidara wrapped the bandage around once, tugging on it so it was tight.

"You can let go now,"

Hidan let go.

Deidara continued bandaging. Hidan had nothing else to do other than look at the blonde, or look around the room. And to him, the room was pretty boring. So he just looked at Deidara. He didn't know he suddenly wanted to bandage himself up. He didn't know Deidara had the bandages in the first place, so clearly it wasn't an effort to be together with him. He just felt the need all of a sudden.

"How's your neck?"  
Deidara tore the bandage apart with his teeth, reached behind him, found a metal pin and finished the first wound.

"It's fine. It's just itchy,"

"Oh,"

Deidara got to work on the second one; Hidan noticed that Deidara's fingertips were now wet with drying blood, but the Iwa nin didn't seem to care.

"Do you still like me, Hidan?"

"Huh?"

Hidan jerked back and Deidara looked at him furiously because the movement had loosened his work on the second wound. He pulled Hidan back towards him using the bandage, but ignored the Jashinist's question.

"Oh. Um…I…I guess?" he admitted with great difficulty.

Deidara looked annoyed all of a sudden and wrapped Hidan's arm up faster. He still felt surprised at how hurt he felt. Ever since he'd seen Hidan stab himself during that ritual earlier today, he'd felt miffed, left out. _No, _he berated himself. He was _not _developing any feelings for Hidan. Maybe he was just feeling sorry for him. Yes, that was probably it.

"Hey! That hurts you know!" Hidan withdrew his arm and rubbed it, the loose bandage dangling. Deidara made no move to continue bandaging, instead getting up and pushing Hidan in the chest.

"Do it yourself then," he snapped.

Deidara stormed out of the room and rubbed his neck for the thousandth time that day. He needed something to drink. His throat was parched.

He saw Itachi. Still just sitting there. He rolled his eyes.

"Don't you have anything else to do, ever?"

"I have to ask you something,"

"Well doesn't that sound familiar, hm?"

Itachi nodded. They'd only talked about half an hour ago.

"Sasori told me something. I think you should know what he said,"

Deidara gave a self-important swish of his blonde ponytail.

"Does he know that you're telling me?"

"He told me to ask you," Itachi replied instantly, evenly. Deidara turned around.

"Then ask me, yeah?"

"Have you been having bad dreams lately?"

Deidara eyes widened and then narrowed in a rapid succession.

"What?"

Itachi looked at him. _You know what I mean. _

"Yes," Deidara said bitterly. "What's it to Sasori?"

_Not Sasori no danna anymore, it really does seem, _Itachi thought.

"What were they about?"

Deidara bit his lip hard, drawing blood.

Itachi almost got up from the couch on seeing Deidara's stiffness. But he stopped himself for his pride.

"What were they about, Deidara?"

"I'll tell you…," Deidara replied slowly, eventually. "If you tell me what's going on,"

_There it is again, _Itachi thought. That something. He had never spoke with such control before.

"Okay," Itachi walked over to where the younger nin stood. He wasn't sure how he would put this.

"The dreams you've been having," he began. He looked Deidara in the eye. "They aren't dreams. They're real,"

Deidara's jaw tightened. He swallowed hard.

"What the fuck do you mean? They're real?"

Itachi knew at once they must have been _really _bad dreams. Or humiliating. Or both…and surprising. He wondered what they were, because clearly it was something Sasori knew about Deidara that Deidara himself didn't know.

"I mean…they're memories,"

"Memories?" Deidara interrupted before the whole word passed Itachi's lips.

"Yes,"

Itachi paused a moment, respectfully, to let Deidara collect his thoughts before Itachi asked him to withhold his end of the deal.

_I was fourteen. He already did that with me when I was fourteen? _Deidara's dislike for Sasori grew. It only fed his hatred and wrath that the ghost of him was still fucking floating around like he owned the place.

Itachi coughed. Deidara's face looked like a storm.

"Deidara…,"

Deidara's growled loudly and, with a dramatic sweep of the arm, he knocked the water jug off the counter. It hit the floor and shattered into a million pieces. It was the ultimate payback from the grave. A convenient reminder that Deidara still hadn't won Sasori entirely and hadn't accounted him for everything he had done.

"Sasori!" Deidara called out. "I know you're here!"

Sasori couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. His specter flitted into view.

"Do you remember now?" he asked. "Do you remember the night you _really _lost your virginity?"

Itachi was confused. He looked at Deidara, who practically had steam puffing from his body, he looked so angry. _Wait, so..._

Hidan looked up from his arm. He was almost finished his arm, but he still had his abdomen to go. What was that outside? He ripped the bandage and tied it with a messy knot.


	19. Chapter 19

_Finale: Part I_

"Don't be so stupid," Sasori laughed. "Look at you. You think you know everything, that you _are _everything, just because you killed me?"

Deidara clenched his fists. _Kill him. I have to kill him! _

"That night," Sasori smacked his lips. "I remember it so well. But you don't, because I didn't want you to. You were such a naiveté back then. I knew that if I let you remember, you would go tattling off to anyone who would listen to you. Just like that other night, when I…,"—here, Sasori glanced a tad nervously at Itachi—"I stabbed you to keep you quiet. I knew something as simple as a memory-wipe drug wouldn't work on your…_slightly _more sophisticated and learned mind, so that was what I had to do,"

Deidara was speechless. Itachi was speechless. Hidan walked in and stepped back instantly, because the scene was so…the tension in the air was tight. The three nin turned to look at him. He knew he looked ridiculous.

"Hidan," Sasori purred. "How nice of you to join us. Your little boyfriend is getting a whipping, maybe you should save him?"

Deidara shook his head in disbelief. "I'm _not _his boyfriend,"

"Oh?" Sasori said in mock surprise. "You could have had me fooled, Deidara. After all, you did give him that lovely treat in his own room," he remarked. Even at his speech, Sasori remained as expressionless as ever, floating there in all his after-death glory. He was extremely pleased at how this was playing out and tried his best not to appear pompous.

Itachi didn't need to ask what that _'lovely treat' _was. He looked suspiciously at Deidara, who was sneering. Hidan reddened, embarrassed, but no one was looking at him.

"_That _doesn't matter," Deidara said. He glanced at Hidan as he said this. "How _could _you? You horny bas—,"

"Believe me," Sasori cut in. "You loved every second of it,"

Deidara flashed back to his dream and his nervousness, his want to escape when Sasori had touched him and pinned him down and—

"Liar," Deidara snarled, fighting the urge to cry. "You're a liar!"

"Am I?" Sasori countered. "You're about as much of a liar than _me, _Deidara,"

Deidara looked at Itachi, whose gaze was like the tip of a knife. Itachi still didn't know what to think. _That's right, _Itachi couldn't help but think. _You lied to me, Deidara. _

Hidan didn't know what was happening. He gulped and felt the knife blade against his thigh as he walked. He had put it in his pocket for good measure.

"Um…anyone care to offer an explanation as to what's—,"

Itachi glared at Hidan.

"Ohhh_kay. _I guess not,"

"And the funny thing is," Sasori continued. "You hate me. You hate me for everything I have done to you in _that _way. But won't you don't realize, _brat, _is that what you're doing to Hidan is exactly what I've been doing to you. You're just becoming me, someone you hate,"

_What did he do to Hidan? _Itachi thought. He looked at the Jashinist, who looked supremely nervous, but otherwise didn't look scared or threatened by Deidara. In fact…

Deidara couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't stand being humiliated, _especially _by someone who was _MEANT. TO BE. DEAD. _

"You should just _die, _Sasori," Deidara spat. He knew just how meager the comeback sounded, especially out loud, but it summed up everything Deidara wanted to say. He didn't actually want to say that much, because then Itachi would—and Hidan. He didn't want them to know. The past few days, yes, he _had _been playing games with Hidan's feelings, drawing the Jashinist along on a string but—oh fuck it.

"I would never have _raped _Hidan," Deidara accused.

* * *

Inside his room, Kakuzu stirred in his sleep.

* * *

Hidan and Itachi winced openly at Deidara's outburst.

"Don't think I'm the same as _you. _You're just jealous because I'm still alive, and I got you killed. You never thought the student would surpass the master, but I did, and since you have never learned to admit defeat—,"

"Enough of this,"

Four heads turned.

Pein.


	20. Chapter 20

_Finale: Part II_

The orange-haired leader strode forebodingly across the room. He glanced at everyone as he went.

"Fools," he began simply. He looked up at Sasori. They all knew he would be addressed first.

"Only a foolish spirit will attempt to quench his grudges and his pride," he began. Sasori said nothing. Just blinked. "For you are already dead, there is nothing you can do to torment the living,"

Sasori opened his mouth to protest. Deidara's fury was clear enough, was it not? Sasori had done at least that. However, Pein's scowl silenced him.

"My absence in this lair does not mean I do not know what is going on," he continued. "When news of your death reached me, Sasori, I already knew it happened. You had it coming for you for four years, I am sorry to say. But Deidara bequeathed to you your fate. It was a fate no one could change,"

"Why?"

Pein turned his head. Itachi had spoken.

"Because," their leader said softly. "Sasori of the Red Sand….I only requested his presence in the Akatsuki to have him killed. Deidara was not the sole driving force. He was the secondary driving force,"

Now it was Deidara's turn to ask questions.

"What?"

"Why couldn't you just kill him? Like, you know, since you're so fucking _powerful _and all…," Hidan rattled on. Pein frowned at him.

"That would have been no fun at all. I wanted him to suffer,"

Sasori felt a dull thud inside him.

_No…this could not be…he's not…_

Pein turned to Deidara.

"We all know what Sasori has done to you. You were a test. For him, placed by me, to be graded by me,"

"And why?" Pein continued. "Because he wronged me once before. Once, a very long time ago,"

Sasori let out a low, odd hiss. "I never did anything to you,"

Pein's eyes softened. "You do not know who I really am, Sasori. And therefore…," he paused, choosing not to finish his sentence "I don't think you need names to remember,"

Sasori remembered.

"Don't be stupid," the puppeteer said.

Hidan looked at Deidara, who looked positively weak. He walked over—with great concern etched across his features, Itachi noted—and patted Deidara awkwardly. Deidara looked at him, annoyed. He wrenched Hidan's hand from his shoulder and held it, playing with his bandages.

Pein raised an eyebrow.

"Too late," he said. "You're dead,"

He turned to the rest of the members. Itachi Uchiha, who was ever the handsome, silent man. Hidan, a Jashinist, the first partner Kakuzu could not get rid of, mortally. Iwagakure's Deidara, who had helped Pein's plan unfold so perfectly.

"Don't underestimate him," Pein nodded at the blonde. His statement seemed to be directed at Itachi. "He is better than you think,"

Then, with that, he left.

_His last statement is only a further confirmation of the growth I've seen in Deidara lately, _Itachi thought. Deidara was staring up at Sasori again, eyes narrowed, this time with a touch of curiosity.

"What the fuck did you do now?" he demanded. His hand was gripping Hidan's arm. He seemed to be fiddling with the knot that was in the bandage.

Sasori felt humiliated. He had had such control over the situation—he was sure to be winning. He was sure after another little gem of a speech, Itachi would have the proper motivation to kill Deidara. Hidan, well, he wasn't part of the picture anymore. And all this time, it had really been like a chess match to fucking _Pein _who knew the outcome was a checkmate? The redhead had only caused one other memorable disaster in his past life. When he'd first felt the need for a powerful puppet, he paid a visit to an appropriately powerful clan. An ambush. He'd seen the potential in the youngest one. He had taken the child easily and that night he'd carved him out clean. But he was in bad luck, because there had been a witness. Halfway through carving the little thing, Sasori was attacked himself. He had barely escaped.

The witness had been—

"I know what he did,"

Three pairs of eyes turned to Itachi, who was looking at Sasori pitifully. "But I'll tell you later,"

Hidan shrugged, still pleased that Deidara had touched him voluntarily, in a completely non-sexual way. Deidara, on the other hand, refuted the proposition he was falling for the Jashinist, and let go of the bandage knot he was playing with when he finally got his bearings together. Sasori gave the blonde one last laser-like glare.

"Don't think this is over," he snarled. "We're not _through_,"

Then he disappeared.

"I think," Zetsu said quietly, from his perch on the ceiling. "He won't bother us again,"

"Huh?" Hidan craned his neck to look at the guy. "What the fuck are you saying, plant boy?"

"Did you idiots bother to dispose of his body?" black Zetsu growled.

"What he means to say is," white Zetsu placated. "When one does not properly dispose of a corpse—,"

"It's in his room," Hidan jerked a thumb down the hall, but otherwise no one made a move to go anywhere. Zetsu melted back into the wall.

Silence.

"That was so melo-fucking-dramatic," Hidan said. Then he turned to Deidara.

"Come on, blondie, we all saw that back there. I know you like me. Now can we just—,"

"In your dreams, un," Deidara punched Hidan's jaw, reddening in the face. Itachi allowed himself to smile, slightly amused. Kakuzu walked out from his room, looking spotless, like he hadn't just slept.

"What's going on?" he growled. "I thought I heard Pein and Zetsu,"

Itachi shrugged and brushed past him, heading back to his own room.

"Nothing, partner. But…," he winked at Deidara. "I think he's in love with me,"

Deidara rolled his eyes and walked away. Hidan went after him with a "hey!", his face all aching because he was smiling so wide, and Kakuzu grunted.

_Disgusting. _

_

* * *

_

_The end.  
_


End file.
